Boyfriend and Girlfriend

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, my name is Laura from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Hi, Laura, welcome.

What can we help you with?

Well, I’m a home care nurse, and I have a client age 82 or so, and she shared a story about the past guys or gentlemen that she, quote, went steady with or was going out with or going with. And never once did she say ex-boyfriend or past boyfriend. And I was just curious to know when, in the generations, when we started to use the term boyfriend and girlfriend versus saying, like, going steady with or went with. It was really sweet when she was talking about her ex-past loves. And rather than calling them boyfriend, she was saying, you know, when I went steady with or went with. And, yeah, I was just curious to know if you guys knew when the term, like, boyfriend and girlfriend came about versus, like, currently I’m dating somebody. And, you know, sometimes I call him my boyfriend, but he’s also 38. So it feels funny calling him my boyfriend.

And you can’t call him your man friend.

Oh, sometimes we do call each other man friend and lady friend.

Oh, really? Okay. I like that, my man friend.

So you wouldn’t say that you were going steady with someone or that you’re going with him, meaning that you are a couple.

Right, yeah. But I don’t hear that phrase used too often now. But I heard it from this sweet old lady who talked about her past relationships.

Well, we know that boyfriend and girlfriend came about roughly 100 years ago, let’s say late 1800s.

Right. And they kind of start popping up immediately. And they didn’t pop up to refer to preteens. They popped up to refer to partners of any age. So it’s always been boyfriend and girlfriend have always been kind of like age general. So it could be a 20-year-old or a 30-year-old or a 12-year-old, but that was your boyfriend or your girlfriend. So there’s never been like a cutoff point there where just because it’s boy doesn’t mean you actually have to be a, you know, an 11 year old. So in any case, so we need more data on this.

Really? Right, Martha?

Yeah. We’d have to find out more from people who are listening to the show and can recall what they said back in the 30s and 40s.

I remember going steady.

Right, yeah. Going steady. Did you go steady when you were in school?

Yes, and it involved ID bracelets.

Oh. You remember those? Now, this is the 80s, mind you, but we went with people.

Oh, you went with?

Yeah, it kind of just meant you sat together at lunch. There was nothing really happening. But you might give her a ring or your jacket or something. I don’t even remember.

So you didn’t go around with or you didn’t go out with?

No. Well, if you went out with, you were older and you had a car and you actually did.

Oh, right. You went to the show, which is what we call the movie theater.

Right. But you went with otherwise, which kind of meant like that was your default person to go to the dance or to go for a walk with or to go to school activities together with.

Okay. Yeah, I do remember in high school we did the musical Bye Bye Birdie, and there’s a song in there. I don’t know what era that show was developed, but they did say they had that song going steady than Bye Bye Birdie.

So to get to the bottom of this question, it’s really interesting. So if she’s 80-something, she probably didn’t necessarily have to use girlfriend and boyfriend when she was coming up, when she was dating and had a fella. But now that’s kind of our default. And there is a change in perspective here. We’re talking about kind of almost possession of the other person rather than describing the relationship that you have with them, rather than talking about going with, which means, or going steady with, which is like two people doing stuff together. You’re talking about, well, I’ve kind of slotted them into this check box here where they’re like, check, girlfriend, check, boyfriend.

Thank you for answering my inquiry. It’s a thoughtful question, and we appreciate those.

Okay, thanks.

Thanks a lot for calling, Laura. Take care now.

Bye-bye.

Okay, bye.

But if you can cast your mind back to, oh, well, when you were a kid, what did you say when you were going out with somebody? Were you going steady? Were you going with? Were you dating? Did you call them boyfriend, girlfriend, fellow, gal, something else? Let us know, 877-929-9673, or email words@waywordradio.org. And you can also talk to us on Facebook and Twitter.