As Long as Pat Stayed in the Army

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Yeah, hi, this is Hattie. I’m calling from Houston, Texas.

Hey, Hattie, welcome to the show. What can we do for you?

When we were growing up in Houston, my mom had this saying, if something was short-lived, like a wedding or something, she would say, well, that lasted about as long as Pat stayed in the Army.

And we were like, Mama, who was Pat? And how long did Pat stay in the Army?

Of course, we never got an answer.

So I was wondering if you guys could help me out. So it was a short wedding or a short marriage? Anything that was short.

You know, it could be a short wedding or, you know, a short trip somewhere or a short relationship or anything that was for a short period. She would say it lasted about as long as Pat stayed in the Army.

And that’s the name Pat, like P-A-T?

Right.

Like a person Pat. You know, I know this one, and I know it only because we’ve had other listeners ask about this over the years. Charlie in Alabama, Mary Beth in eastern Kentucky, Jonathan Smith in Virginia, Matt in Florida, and Gregory in Dallas have all either called or emailed about this.

And so over the years, I’ve had reason to look this up and try to nail this down. And I discovered a few things about it. One, sometimes people say as long as John stayed in the Army. And I’ve been able to trace it as far back as 1898.

In Kentucky newspapers, all of the earliest uses I can find are from Kentucky. But I’ve never been able to figure out who Pat was. I have a theory, which is worth nothing, which is worth zero dollars, that I’ll share with you.

That maybe it was somebody who went to fight in the Spanish-American War, which was happening in the 1890s, but then thought better of it and came home. That’s one idea, but I don’t know who Pat was, but it’s been traveling around. It’s mainly a Southern term, Southern American English.

Yeah. Well, I’m glad somebody else has heard of it because none of my friends had ever heard that saying.

Yeah, it’s not really that common, but it does make the rounds. You’ll find it here and there. It’s got just enough life to keep being passed on from person to person.

There’s a little joke that goes with it sometimes, and people say, well, what do you mean, how long did Pat stay in the Army? And then they’ll say back, well, the clock was striking one when he enlisted, and it was still striking when he got out.

I’ll have to remember that. And another way of phrasing it is it’s not more than a skinny minute.

Okay. That’s all I have been able to uncover over the years about how long Pat stayed in the Army. It’s a really short time, a skinny minute.

Yeah, it’s a really handy expression, isn’t it, Hattie?

Oh, it is. It really is, yeah. And it always sparks conversation.

Well, who was Pat?

Yeah, who was Pat? I just imagine some fellow who was filled with patriotic fervor and went to join the war. And about halfway there, he says, I guess I better get back to the farm and look after those hogs. And he turned around and went home.

When I told my husband I was calling in, he said, maybe Pat will show up.

Yeah, maybe we’ll hear from Pat. Or Pat’s descendants.

Patty, thank you so much for calling about this. We really appreciate it.

Thank you. Take care. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.