Quiz Guy John Chaneski offers a puzzle inspired by the word age, featuring punny, one-word answers that end in -age and answer a question such as, “How old do you have to be to study podiatry”? This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Age Pun Quiz”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.
I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett.
And on the line is our quiz guy, John Chaneski.
Hi, John.
Hi, Grant.
Hi, Martha.
Hey, John.
What’s up?
Last Saturday, someone who listens to our A Way with Words podcast came to my pub trivia at One Star in Manhattan.
And one of our regular teams overheard him say to his friends, he sounds so much younger on the radio.
But it did make me think about age, A-G-E.
For example, I was measuring the size of my office when I thought, how old do you have to be to study podiatry?
That’s because footage is basically foot and age.
To make it interesting, I avoided words like leakage, which just means the amount of leak.
So if you remove age, you’ll get something hopefully unrelated.
Each clue begins with a clue for the whole word and then a clue for the fake age.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
I was overseeing the staff at a local restaurant when I thought, when is a boy considered to be an adult?
Teenage.
No, that’s not right.
That’s actually age.
A restaurant.
Refuge.
No.
What is someone who oversees the staff?
Minimum wage.
What is someone who oversees the staff?
Minimum what?
What do they do?
Manage.
Manage.
There we go.
Got it, got it, got it.
Of course, you can be a bar mitzvah at 13.
There you go.
That answers my question.
I was researching my family tree when I thought, how old do you have to be to connect point A to point B?
Family tree.
Lineage.
Lineage, yep.
Lineage.
Lineage, yes.
Well, you can learn geometry at age five.
I was inspecting my car after a fender bender when I thought, how long do the constructions made by beavers usually last?
Damage.
Damage.
Damn age.
You know how I like to come up with new words?
Well, I was doing just that when I thought, how old do you have to be to be a numismatist?
Coin age.
The coin age, yeah.
Any age is fine for that.
I was taking care of my daughter’s boo-boo when I thought, how long have the Rolling Stones been together?
Band age.
The band age.
I was taking out the trash when I thought, how long will my new suit last?
Garbage.
That’s my garbage, yeah.
Similarly, I was riding in an equestrian competition when I thought, how long should you keep an evening gown?
Dress age.
Dress age.
It’s a sawge.
I was ransacking a village on World of Warcraft when I thought, should I throw out my old Dramamine?
That’s not village.
I was going to say rampage, but my old Dramamine.
Ransacking a village.
Pillage.
Yes, the pillage.
I was decorating my hat with brilliant feathers when I thought, are those prunes in my fridge still good?
Plum age.
Plum age.
Plum age.
Yes.
Oh, well, we have to do this one.
I was cleaning out my septic tank when I thought, is my son old enough to replace a lost button on his coat?
Sew age.
Sew age, yes.
Sew age.
Teach him that very, very soon.
I was getting a back rub at the mall when I thought, how old was I when I held my first communion?
Massage.
Massage.
Massage, yes.
I think it was eight, I think.
I was delivering a singing telegram when I thought, how old do you have to be to be a cook in the Army?
Singing telegram.
Massage.
Cook in the Army.
Yes, the message.
Very good.
John, you have been an agent of hilarity here.
Oh, thank you so much.
This show is about more than just goofing off with a quiz.
It’s about words and language and…
Language.
Language.
Email words@waywordradio.org.
