Our Quiz Guy John Chaneski has a game of geographic and astrological portmanteaus. For example, if you’re looking for something with a spongy-pointed marker in Pittsburgh, how about a Felt Tip Pennsylvania? Or if someone born in June is a place of exercise putting on makeup, chances are they’d wear Geminishadow. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Geographic Portmanteaus”
You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett, and we’re joined once again by our quiz guide, John Chaneski. Hello, John.
Hello, Grant. Hello, Martha.
Hi, John.
What’s cooking, dude?
It’s so great to be here.
You guys know I’m always looking for like an angle, right? Trying to sell things to specific markets, people with different interests, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know, when Obama was campaigning, I had the idea to sell his slogan on T-shirts, but specifically targeted to people in Topeka. Can you guess what it said?
Yes, we Kansas.
Yes, we Kansas.
Very good.
Yes.
You got the sample. You should be able to get the rest of them.
Oh, is this a quiz?
This is a quiz. Surprise.
They’re sort of portmanteau products, words that overlap. And the first few are sort of state-themed.
Here we go. How about something to write with that has a soft, spongy point for people in Pittsburgh?
Ballpoint, Pennsylvania?
Now, ballpoint does not have a soft, spongy point, does it?
Felt-tip Pennsylvania?
Felt-tip Pennsylvania, yes.
How about some playground equipment for people in Nashville?
Tennessee saw.
Tennessee saw, right.
I had this idea to reissue the first Beastie Boys album, specifically for people in Chicago. It’s something ill-in, isn’t it?
It’s close. I forget.
Illinois, I don’t know. I forget.
It’s licensed to Illinois.
Yeah, there we go. Licensed to Illinois. Big seller. Big seller.
How about this? This is delicious. A nutty, marshmallow-y ice cream flavor for just people in Providence.
Rocky Rhode Island.
Rocky Rhode Island is right. Good.
But then, you know, I took a left turn. I said, how about some astrology? People are interested in astrology.
How about an all-American dessert intended for those born in March?
Apple Pides of March?
No. Think astrologically.
Oh, Apple Pisces.
Apple Pisces. Very good.
How about a measure of your financial solidity if you’re born in November?
Your credit Scorpio.
Yes, your credit Scorpio.
Oh, terrible. Good. That’s really bad.
Okay. That’s fine. I’ll take it anyway.
I decided to do a revival of a Will Smith TV sitcom aimed at those born in April.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Ares.
Fresh Prince of Bel-Ares, yes. One for my dad, Naries.
How about some colorful makeup intended for those born in June?
Gemini Shadow.
Gemini Shadow.
How about an inspirational message about striking while the iron is hot? Meant for those born in March.
Striking while the iron is hot for those born in March.
Right. Oh, gosh. In this case, the sign comes before the thing, by the way.
Pisces the day.
Pisces the day. This is where carpe diem really comes in. It’s really appropriate.
That was messing me up.
Yeah, I was thinking carpe.
But you got it. And those are my, what do you think? These are my schemes, my entrepreneurial.
That’s great. You’re qualified for the Port Authority. I expect to see you hanging around the Greyhound Turnbull any day now.
You’ll see me some stuff on the sidewalk selling stuff.
Yeah, watches under your coat, right?
Great. Stop by. Make you a deal. I promise we’ll make you a deal.
Friends deal.
Yeah, yeah.
Thanks for calling, John. Much appreciated.
Always a pleasure. Hilarious.
Thanks, Grant. Thanks, Martha. See you next time.
All right. Bye-bye.
And if you’d like to talk about grammar, slang, punctuation, or words and how we use them, the number is 877-929-9673, or you can send those emails to words@waywordradio.org.
