There’s an “App” for That

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett, and here once again is Greg Poliska, our quiz guy.

Hello, Greg.

Hi, Greg.

Hello, Grant. Hello, Martha.

What can we do for you, Greg? What’d you call us about? Can we answer a question?

I was going to just tell you that my daughter is actually a very adept user of a certain tablet computing device that we have in our house.

Oh, she got a Barnes & Noble Nook, did she?

Yeah, that’s not the one. She’s got an iPad.

Well, I have the iPad, but my daughter knows how to use the thing intuitively.

It’s amazing to see.

Awesome.

So I have a ton of apps on it for her.

And that gave me the idea of a little puzzle for today, which is called There’s an App for That.

Okay.

Let’s try this out.

See how it goes.

So you’re going to respond to various mythical listeners who are looking for solutions to their problems.

And in each case, there’s an app for that.

The solution is a word starting with app.

Alrighty.

I got you.

So here you go.

Dear Grant and Martha, if I tell the truth about my SAT scores, I’ll never get into the college of my choice.

What should I do?

Apply yourself.

Applying, yes.

Oh, I thought it was take the aptitude test.

Oh, I like that.

But that’s only one P.

Here’s the trick.

It’s actually, if you remove the app, you get another word that is also clued by what I’m saying.

So lying is part of the answer.

App plus lying.

I see.

Okay.

Oh, oh.

All right, dish it out.

Let’s have another one.

Here’s another one.

Dear Grant and Martha, my name is Linus, and I’m a famous chemist, peace activist, and multiple Nobel Prize winner.

It’s shocking to see how many people don’t know who I am.

It’s appalling.

App plus Pauling.

Appalling.

Yes, Linus Pauling.

All right, here’s your next one.

Dear Grant and Martha, I’ve got bugs all over my apartment and I’m afraid to get near them.

Can you help?

Approach them.

App plus Roach.

Approach.

Oh, I get it.

App plus Roach.

Yeah.

Here’s another one.

I’m starting to get the hang of it now.

You’ll get it.

Usually it’s by the end you figure out exactly what’s going on.

That’s true.

Dear Grant and Martha, are there any city ordinances regarding the behavior of audiences in the theater?

Are there applaws?

Applaws, yes.

Applaws laws.

I see a little phonetic action there, not just the spelling.

Yeah, that’s right.

Things get phonetic occasionally around here.

Dear Grant and Martha, I’d be so, so happy if I could just remember my name.

Appalachian.

Appalachian.

Elation.

I’d be so, so happy.

Oh, you’d be so happy.

Yes.

Dear Grant and Martha, I’d like to read all the Supreme Court cases about slithery sea creatures.

Is there an app for that?

Yes, the app Heels.

The app Heel would be the one.

App Heels.

Dear Grant and Martha, we’ve decided to put our house up on stilts,

And we want to know how much it will be worth if we do.

You’re going to appraise it?

We’re going to appraise it.

Yes, appraise, app plus raise.

And here’s a little grammar lesson for you.

Dear Grant and Martha, I’m learning how to make bread.

How can I tell when my dough is ready?

You have to apprise it.

Yes, app plus rise.

Apprise.

Very important, the distinction between appraise and apprise.

And one more.

Dear Grant and Martha, I have a rash, but I keep forgetting to call my doctor to see him about it.

What should I do?

Apply the lotion?

No.

You should make an app ointment.

App ointment.

Right.

Terrible.

That’s me.

That’s my middle name.

I’m terrible.

First I laugh, and then I say terrible, so take your pick.

So you know.

You guys had a real aptitude for those.

We did.

Thank you.

Thank you, Greg.

That was a lot of fun.

It’s a pleasure.

Thank you.

Well, if you’d like to appear on our show, it would be apropos to call us, 877-929-9673,

Or email us. The address is words@waywordradio.org.