Why Baby Talk?

Hi, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha.

This is Kristen from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin.

How can we help?

Well, my question is in reference to my two-month-old son.

I find myself constantly talking to him, like, in baby talk, like, sing-songy kind of speak.

And it just kind of came to me like, has this been something that’s been around for a long time,

the way we speak to babies, or is it, like, kind of a newer phenomenon?

Because I find, like, everyone speaks to him that way, you know, even men, children,

everyone so I don’t know I was just kind of curious if that’s something that’s new or if you guys have

like seen it you know in writings in the past or what and he’s a two-month-old yeah and what’s his

name congratulations by the way yeah thank you his name is miles and you have time to call us he must

be an amazing child he is he’s a really good baby you just want to talk to adults for a change yeah

right well what do you say to him yeah what’s it sound like when you talk to miles oh gosh well if

if I don’t do it to him, I just sound like a crazy person.

Just pretend like Grant is your two-month-old baby.

Yes, I do act like Grant.

I mean, mostly it’s words.

It’s not just like, ooh, gaga.

It’s like, who’s the cutest little baby?

You know, like, and that kind of speaks.

Yeah, the stuff that you say to a child, you’ve kind of described it very well.

It’s high-pitched, right?

It’s simple.

The syntax is simple.

The words are simple.

You are really close to the baby.

Even your face changes.

You raise your eyebrows.

Your eyes get big.

You smile partly because of your love for the child, and we all smile at really cute things like babies.

But you change your countenance.

You change your behavior.

You change your mode of discourse, as they say, in the business.

Absolutely.

And so your question is, are you just messed up?

Are you just like this freak parent who talks like this, or does everyone do it?

Are babies the helium of language?

Yeah, yeah.

And the answer is you’ve hit upon it.

It’s no accident that all the people around you talk to your child this way.

It’s not that you’ve each picked this up from each other.

It’s that there is a little bit of a discourse happening there,

a discourse being two or more people participating in an exchange of information.

With a baby, that exchange is really simple.

You make a sound and you judge the baby’s face for just a second to see if there’s an impact.

And if there is, you do it again.

You find yourself repeating yourself.

And then the next time you talk with the child, you’ll do it even more.

And you’ll keep mixing it up until all that’s left after a very short amount of time

is all of the things that the baby responds most to,

particularly if it’s a smile or a coo or a giggle or that kind of thing.

So the baby is telling you with his attention what he wants from you.

And a lot of times it’s very extreme stuff.

High-pitched noise, your face in a big, really obvious, like almost rictus, a big smile.

Your eyes wide, right?

Your eyes really, because he’s looking at your eyes.

He loves your eyes.

We are conditioned for that.

So it’s a natural, normal thing.

And he’s aiding you and telling him what he wants.

Yeah.

And when you say it’s a natural, normal thing,

this is something that’s been going on since time immemorial, right?

I mean, people in Shakespeare’s time probably said,

thou art the cutest little infant.

I know, that’s so weird to think of that.

I mean, don’t you think?

Yeah.

I mean, this is unique to us.

There were a few researchers that claimed that there are cultures in the world where they do not talk to children at all.

Really?

And I find this hard to believe, and I’m not the only one, and there’s a lot of professional doubt about this.

Lots of times their belief is that maybe they only wouldn’t do it in front of a researcher,

that it was a private kind of little moment that they didn’t want to share.

But in any case, for the most part, as far as we know, every human culture, nearly every human culture does this.

They talk with children in a very different way.

Now, I should tell you that baby talk in different languages sounds different.

In some places, they don’t do the high-pitched thing.

They simply change their language so it’s much simpler words, maybe slower,

but it’s also mainly in a normal tone of voice.

And they just have a running conversation around the child

or with the child kind of being included as if they can understand.

As far as we know, as far as research tells us,

everybody changes the way they talk to a child.

The child requires that kind of attention among all the other kinds of attention it needs

in order to grow up healthy.

So, Kristen, it’s not just you,

and it’s not just that you’re sleep-deprived.

I mean, you’re probably sleep-deprived, right?

A little bit, yeah.

Well, take care of that sweet kid, all right?

Babies are fantastic. Babies are good.

They sure are.

Thanks for calling, Kristen.

Thanks a lot.

Take care. Bye-bye.

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