To Visit Meaning To Converse

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Dean from Shadron, Nebraska.

Hey, Dean, welcome.

So I have a question about the use of the verb visiting. I grew up in Florida, but now live in northwestern Nebraska. And people in this region use visiting in place of talking or conversing, as in the sentence, for instance, I went over to Mary’s house and we had a really nice time visiting. Where I’m from in Florida, you visit a place such as someone’s house or business, and there you have a nice conversation, discussion, or talk. And I’ve never heard visiting used as a form of dialogue between two people before moving here to Nebraska. So my question is where this usage originates from.

Dean, I’m curious where in Florida you’re from.

I grew up in Pensacola, Florida, so it’s a northwestern panhandle.

I’m surprised. I would expect in that part of Florida that you would have heard a visit to mean conversing or talking or having a long natter.

Never.

Never really.

Because this is so, it originates in the American South, really, as far back as the 1860s, and then kind of spreads throughout the United States. And it’s very much an Americanism at this point. It’s long been noted, and it’s really an outgrowth of the idea of to visit, meaning to go to someone’s house informally for a short stay where you have a light dessert or coffee or something, and then you leave. You’re not there for weeks or something like that. So it’s all about the social. It’s like an outgrowth of the social visit, the brief social polite visit.

It’s very interesting to me because the American linguist living in the UK, Lynn Murphy, has written about this on her blog where she talks about the differences between American English and British English. And she was noting how it has to do also with the person who’s doing the visiting. Like, for example, it sounds normal to say, Dean came over and visited with me, right? That sounds normal, but you wouldn’t say, Dean came over and I visited with him. That sounds a little weird, doesn’t it?

Oh, so it’s the person who is doing the visiting of the place that gets the form of conversing, or visiting is a form of conversing.

I think so. I mean, it would be also weird to say I went over to Dean’s and he visited with me. There’s a nice remark by the editors of Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage. They say to say that you visited with someone usually implies not only that you conversed, that you went a bit out of your way for the sake of some friendly talk. So it’s also about the attitudes. It’s not just that you talk like when the surveyors or the pollsters come to your door to ask your opinions. That’s not a visit. That’s not visiting. I’m sorry. That is a visit, but it’s not visiting. But if a friend comes over and you share a beer, you could be visiting if you’re just having a chat about the ball scores or, you know, how the grass is growing or the state of the garden.

Oh, wow.

So it’s about the kind of a notion there that it’s among friends or family or close acquaintances.

So familiarity matters.

Familiarity for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Great.

So, Dean, we’re so glad that you called and visited with us. Does that make sense to say that?

I’m trying to think.

We visited on the radio.

Well, it was nice visiting with you guys too.

There you go.

There you go.

Now you got it, Dean.

Yeah.

No, Martha, all of the evidence that I’ve seen does say that you can visit with someone, meaning you chatted with them, over the phone by voice. And you don’t have to be face-to-face or in person.

Yeah, that’s a really good point.

Well, thank you very much for taking my call.

Thank you, Dean. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Well, this happens a lot. You grow up in one place and you move someplace else, and all of a sudden you hear language in a whole new way. Well, call us about at 877-929-9673 or send us an email. The address is words@waywordradio.org.