Villian-o Brain Teaser

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett.

And we’re joined, who is this handsome man who cast a long shadow?

It’s John Chenefti, our quiz guy.

Hello, guys.

Hello, Grant.

Oh, Martha.

You know, I love the comic books.

You know, a big comic book guy.

I was going through my collection, my vast collection.

I’ve got thousands.

I noticed how many villains’ names end in O, like Magneto and Bizarro, Sinestro, Metallo, Mysterio, Despero, Starro, Electro.

There’s a whole bunch.

So let’s look at O villains.

I’ll describe villains, new villains I’ve come up with, whose names are all common words ending in O, and you tell me who they are.

Oh, boy.

Okay.

I think you get it.

For example, this villain takes large islands and breaks them up into a chain of smaller islands.

What a cad.

He calls himself Archipelago.

Archipelago.

Dun, dun, dun.

Oh, so the word comes with an O already attached.

We’re not adding an O.

Of course, yes.

No, we don’t have to add an O.

No, it comes with an O, yeah.

Now, who are the following evil geniuses?

And as a sort of side puzzle, you can try to guess if these are actual characters, because when I was doing research on this, I actually found there are a whole bunch.

So here we go.

This villain commits crimes with impunity because he can inflict intense feelings of dizziness upon law enforcement and superheroes.

Vertigo, you will obey me.

Yes.

Actually, Vertigo is a superhero.

Really?

Not a supervillain, yeah.

This villain can summon up a hot, dry wind to carry herself where she needs to be or sweep away any superheroes.

Ooh, derecho.

Oh, not derecho.

I don’t know that one.

But I was thinking of a little Middle Eastern action.

Sirocco?

Sirocco, yes, Sirocco.

But derecho’s good, too.

Actually, they’ll team up.

Yes.

Be a supervillain team.

There we go.

This villain carries a magic guitar with which he plays highly rhythmic music from his home of Trinidad and causes opponents to dance uncontrollably.

Bongo?

Not Bongo, no.

Calypso.

Calypso, who is actually a supervillain, but not a musical supervillain.

And his sidekick, Bongo.

Bongo, sure, why not?

Let’s throw in sidekicks.

This villain is a highly skilled soldier who specializes in sea or air attacks.

His secret?

He gets his powers from not wearing any underwear.

Commando!

Commando!

Who is neither a superhero nor a villain.

There’s other kinds.

There’s some villains.

And he wears a kilt.

It’s terrible.

That’s how you get superpowers.

Yeah, exactly.

This villain is a real pain in the butt.

Almost.

He incapacitates his opponents by causing them great discomfort in their lower back.

Lumbago.

Lumbago.

Neither a superhero nor a villain.

But again, very possible.

Why not?

This villain is an agile dancer and defeats opponents by distracting them with his clapping and then stomping them with his hard-heeled shoes.

Flamenco.

Flamenco.

Not a real superhero, though there is an anime series called Samurai Flamenco.

Dig this, about a male model with no powers who tries to convince himself he’s a superhero.

Just sharing.

Just sharing.

I gather that you have the kind of browser history that when you pass away, the first thing you want to do is to have it cleared, right?

Clear everything, please.

And not for prurient reasons either, just because it’s just weird.

All right, you guys, let’s go out and fight crime together.

Let’s try to find these villains and track them down.

Because we are on the radio.

Radio!

Thanks, John.

John, that was neato.

Thanks so much.

I’ll see you guys next time.

Bye-bye.

Tally-ho.

There we go.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

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That address is words@waywordradio.org.