Why are the names of cars so unimaginative? Grant argues that auto manufacturers might take inspiration from ornithology to build a better car name. (Then again, would you be any less aggravated if you were rear-ended by a lazuli bunting?) This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Using Ornithology to Name Cars”
You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett.
Martha, I’ve always wanted to know, why can’t the names of computers and cars be better? They come up with these awful, boring brand names, these product names, just not interesting really to me. I know that they’re trying to sell a product, but here’s this. There’s a whole category of names out there that they could draw from that’s far more interesting.
Bird names.
Bird names.
Bird names.
Listen to this. Try this one. Lazuli bunting. That’s L-A-Z-U-L-I bunting, B-U-N-T-I-N-G. It’s a good name. That’s the name of a bird. It’s a blue finch, and it’s lazuli bunting.
Well, that sounds like a character in Brideshead Revisited or something, doesn’t it? It’s festive. It’s fun. There’s something. You know, bunting is what you put up when you have parades and celebrations, and somebody gets elected, and somebody wins the prize. Lausole is a great foreign word that invokes like the deepest of blues, and it’s a nice word. It’s a bluefinch. It’s an interesting word.
My whole premise here is that IBM and Dell and all these other manufacturers, I guess Lenovo and Dell and Apple and whoever, should try something besides strings of numbers and letters for their products.
Here’s another one. The Northern Beardless Terranulette.
Wait, now, I’m not going to be driving a northern beardless terranulette. I’m sorry. Well, I’m just saying, you know, there’s some inspiration to be had here, even if they don’t take the words wholesale. The northern beardless terranulette is a tropical flycatcher. To me, though, it sounds kind of like a Canadian toddler in the midst of his terrible twos, right? Because he’s northern and Canadian. Beardless means he’s young, and terranulette means he’s a kind of tyrant.
Yeah, I can see the commercial, Bob Seger playing in the background.
Yeah. All right. How about this one? The black-necked stilt.
Black-necked stilt?
Yeah. It’s also called a lawyer bird. Does it ring any bells? Or the blue stocking.
Oh. All three of these are great common names for a kind of long-legged, long-beaked water bird.
Yeah. But I just can’t imagine being on the freeway and being rear-ended by a lawyer bird. That’s an accident you’re going to lose. You’re going to pay for that one.
Well, speaking of birds and tweeting, we invite you. Did I really say that? We invite you to follow us on Twitter. You can find us under the name Wayword. And if you have a question about language, call us. The number is 1-877-929-9673 or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.
