Unsolicited Nicknames

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Elizabeth. I’m calling from Dallas.

Welcome, Elizabeth. What can we do for you?

So, a couple weeks ago, I remember listening to a gentleman who was talking about the differences between guests and customers and labeling things.

And in my experience, as I said, my name’s Elizabeth, and my experience is with nicknames.

And I always find that so fascinating.

I have a thousand nicknames. I have five brothers, which probably contributes to that.

But a nickname that is not used for me is Liz.

So have you had somebody call you Liz and you didn’t like it?

Yes. Typically speaking, it was when somebody came into my office and they’re trying to sell me product or service.

And, you know, introducing myself, I always say, hi, I’m Elizabeth.

Nice to meet you, et cetera.

And then when they got in kind to their pitch of sorts, then they would always say, well, you know, Liz.

And it always kind of struck me funny because I never said, my name’s Elizabeth, call me Liz.

And to me, it was kind of like they’re trying to create some sort of air of familiarity, hence the nickname.

And I’ve talked to my friends about it, too.

I’m like, it’s really kind of off-putting.

You know, I would never, if someone said, hi, my name’s Robert, I would never say Bob or Bobby.

That’s not what they said.

Right.

You know, I feel like that’s pretty impolite.

How do you handle it when people call you Liz?

Do you correct them?

I usually don’t.

No, I usually don’t say anything.

I don’t really want to dwell on it.

But it’s an irritant, right?

Yeah, I find it that way.

I mean, I just don’t find it very professional, for one.

I don’t find it very polite, and I don’t find that it helps me or helps our relationship in any way.

And I don’t know why they—maybe I’m just, again, projecting things.

I feel like that’s kind of their assumption when they try to get familiar with me, that they’re trying to project something that’s not there.

I don’t feel like it helps it in any way.

Right, and they probably think it does.

I don’t know where people got that idea from.

Yeah.

But Americans are noted for having an aversion to excessive formality.

I wonder if that’s part of it as well, that they’ve just, they’re adopting the national culture, which is to find a way not to take things so seriously.

We default to Bob instead of Robert and Liz instead of Elizabeth, or at least Beth instead of Elizabeth.

That’s the thing is I think Beth is the more likely first abbreviation and not Liz, but what do I know?

Well, I think the point is that we shouldn’t make assumptions about what people want to be called.

Well, there’s a good point.

Versus Deborah or whatever.

I think that’s presumptuous.

I love it.

The scenes in the British movies, like the upstairs, downstairs sort of thing, where somebody becomes excessively familiar and gets put in their place.

It’s not a thing that we have often here in America, but this is one of those times.

Yeah.

Yeah, and we don’t have the, you know, the do versus dich, do versus zee.

Yeah, we don’t do the tutoyer and vous voyer.

We don’t have the formal you.

That’s true we don’t.

But every commentator who’s visited the United States since the founding of this country from somewhere else, usually Europe, has noted that Americans have this rush to informality.

And I’m not going to excuse the people who call you Liz.

They should call you what you want to be called.

I agree.

But I can give them just a little bit of benefit of the doubt.

What do you think about that, Elizabeth?

It’s easy to call you Liz.

I’m sorry.

I just had Liz on the brain here.

Like I said, I’m not going to correct someone.

I’m not going to say, never call me that.

Just not going to buy their product.

And usually when I’m with friends, I just say, hey, my name’s Bethy.

Like, I don’t even say Elizabeth.

Oh, really?

Elizabeth, your name is sort of the Swiss Army knife of proper names, I think.

You know?

It’s like the buffalo on the prairie who use every part of the name to make something new.

Yes.

Well, Elizabeth, I bet we’re going to hear from a lot of people who share your name or share your nicknames and want to keep the name that they were given and not the one that somebody wants to put upon them.

Right.

Well, thanks a lot for calling.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks for your time.

I appreciate it.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

877-929-9673.