What Does It Mean “To Soft-Soap” Someone? And Why Do We Say It?

Hi there. You have A Way with Words.

Yes, this is Joseph Lee calling about a term that my grandmother used to use all the time growing up.

Whenever I got in trouble or misbehaved and wanted to, you know, get back in her good gracious, I would try to suck up to her, and she would always say, don’t come over here soft soaping.

I just always wondered where that term started from, where it came from.

Joseph, that’s a really good one.

Where was your grandmother from, and are you from the same place?

Yes, Knoxville, Pennsylvania.

Soft soap for a long time has served as kind of a, you know, a luxuriating kind of soap, a lubricating kind of soap.

And as early as the 19th century, people were using the term soft soap to mean flattering somebody or, you know, treating somebody deferentially, doing all the kinds of things that you were trying to do to get back in her good graces, you know, telling somebody what they want to hear.

So it’s been used metaphorically in that way.

And for a long time, we’ve seen expressions like somebody’s pouring soft soap down somebody’s back or somebody’s pouring soft soap into somebody’s ears.

And so it has to do with, you know, I guess cleaning things up, but also the softness there is key.

But also because it’s kind of oily or unctuous, which is not necessarily a pleasing feeling if you’re maybe even greasy, which is something reprehensible.

Yeah, I guess so. If you have that poured down your back, you didn’t ask for it.

There are related terms. You might also say, don’t give me all that lather, which means it’s just a lot of bubbly talk without much substance to it.

And it’s related to salsa.

So it sounds like you got pretty good at that.

I was excellent at it, absolutely.

Joseph, we appreciate you sharing your memories and spending time with us. We appreciate it very much. Thank you.

I appreciate you having me and taking the call.

Thank you.

Take care.

You too.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Okay.

Bye, Joseph.

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