Slow as Moses

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is David. I’m calling from Kingston, Ontario.

Hi, David. Welcome to the program.

Hi, David.

Hi, thank you.

What’s on your mind?

I’m wondering if you can help resolve a debate that my wife and I have had over the last several years. It surrounds an expression she used, which I claim isn’t a real expression. She described something or someone at one point as being as slow as Moses. I thought she’d misspoken and meant as slow as molasses, but she claims no, that it’s a real expression. I’ve never heard it, and I’m wondering if you’d ever heard it.

And are you both from there?

Yes, we’re both from, well, not from Kingston, but from Canada, although part of my wife’s family, her maternal grandmother, was from Richmond, Virginia.

Interesting.

Yeah, that’s very interesting.

So she’s thinking slow as Moses, who was pretty slow getting to the promised land, right? I mean, 40 years?

That’s what she uses to shore up her argument.

You make it sound like that shoring is not actually working.

I remain unconvinced at this point.

Well, and you’re saying that slow as molasses is obvious, right? Because it’s such a viscous fluid.

Exactly.

Slow as molasses, or my preference is slow as molasses in January.

In Canada, yeah.

Indeed.

Well, so would you be disappointed then to hear that other people do use the phrase slow as Moses? And they haven’t all made a mistake.

Perhaps, but I wouldn’t be surprised, I don’t think.

Yeah, yeah.

I think it is a direct biblical connection, though. People who this idea of 40 of something being so biblical about meaning a long time. It doesn’t necessarily mean 40 days or 40 years or 40 weeks. It means just a very long time.

And that’s the big moment for Moses, right? That’s one of his big moments anyway.

Yeah, he didn’t quite get there.

But yeah.

Yeah.

But it’s not nearly as common as your phrase, though.

Not nearly as common.

But you do see Moses in a lot of different sayings, too. I mean, I don’t know if you did this when you were young, but if somebody told a corny joke, we would all say, that’s old as Moses’ toes and twice as corny.

I’ve heard that.

No, I never said that.

And you’re not even laughing, David.

Old as Moses’ toes, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

There was a reference I did see, a biblical reference, but Moses apparently described himself as being slow of tongue and slow of speech.

Right, right, right, right.

Yeah, yeah.

So he wanted Aaron to do all of the work for him.

Yeah.

What do you have invested in this answer?

Well, my win-loss record with these kinds of debates is well below 500, so this wasn’t going to turn the tide.

So is it below the Mendoza line for you?

Hey, David, I hope we’ve helped.

You have.

Have we?

Okay.

You have.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, thank you for calling.

Thanks, David.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.