Sillysoma and Fascinoma on Slang This!

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette, and it’s time for our weekly slang challenge, where we try to stump a member of the National Puzzlers League.

Today’s contestant is Lorraine Lampert from New York City. Come on down.

Hello, Lorraine.

Hello. Hello, everyone. Both of you.

Everyone. No, all of us.

Everybody out there.

The world is listening to you. What do you do in New York City, Lorraine?

I am an actress. I’m an actor, singer, dancer. And I also work at an investment banking firm.

Good Lord.

Now, I understand, correct me if I’m wrong, that you were in a production based on the American Girl dolls.

Yes, I was in the American Girl’s review. And I was also in Biddy Bear’s matinee at the American Girl place in New York City.

Oh, my gosh. So you’re really a celebrity in some circles.

I suppose.

If you’re 10, you know who Lorraine is, right?

Sure thing. Yes, you know, they were 10 when they saw the show.

Lorraine, what’s your favorite slang term?

Okay, I have a good one here. Totes.

What?

Totes. It’s short for totally.

Sure, totes, T-O-T-E-S. I started hearing the word totes for totally in 98 when I was at Emerson College, and everyone there said it, and I assumed that it was a slang that was really taken the nation by storm. And then I’ve asked around in the last few days, and a lot of people haven’t even heard it before.

Well, now educate me here. How would you use totes in a sentence?

Okay, like, I am totes going to see the new Stephen Sondheim show at the public theater.

Oh, I see.

Okay, so it’s just a substitute for totally then.

-huh.

But it sounds cooler.

Yeah, well, it’s a clipping, yeah.

Yeah, it’s another instance of shortening.

All right.

All right, well, here’s how we play. Let’s see how you do with our quiz. I’ll give you a sentence with a blank in it with two possible answers. Only one is correct. In case you need a lifeline, Martha is standing by.

I’m right here.

Okay.

I’m totes here.

Okay, I’m totes with you.

All right.

Well, it just so happens that these two questions are both medically related, all right?

Sure, I’ll just draw on that time when I was just playing one on TV.

There we go.

All right, here we go. Here’s the first sentence. Doctor, you’d better get down here. All the nurses and interns are waiting for you to show off the blank. They’ve never seen anything like it. So are they waiting for the doctor to show off the A, the psilisoma, or B, the fascinoma? And fascinoma is spelled F-A-S-C-I-N-O-M-A. The psilisoma or the fascinoma?

Yes.

And how is psilisoma spelled?

S-I-L-L-Y-S-O-M-A, like it sounds.

Oh, my goodness. So, fascinoma is F-A-S-C-I-N-O-M-A?

That’s right, F as in Frank.

Well, fascinoma sounds fascinating.

Yes.

And psilisoma definitely sounds silly.

Either way, I think I’d want to look at it.

It’s true.

I’m going to go ahead and I think, what do you think, Martha?

I think fascinoma.

Yes, I’m leaning toward that. That sounds more medical.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That is correct.

Oh, right.

Oh, I passed the medical test.

It’s a jokey slang term.

Your license is in the mail.

It’s a jokey slang medical term for a fascinating case.

Oh.

Right.

All right, let’s try another one. This one’s a little harder, maybe a little more fun, all right?

I can’t imagine one more fun than that.

How can it be more fun than silly, Selma?

Holy! Smells like they’ll need more than a bedpan. That blank is not only going to take new sheets, it may very well call for a brand new bed. That blank is not only going to take new sheets, it may very well call for a brand new bed. Is it A, a code brown, or B, a happy meal?

Happy Meal was the second one?

Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, that’s very messy. I think Code Brown and Happy Meal are mutually exclusive.

I don’t know. I think Code Brown’s connotation right off the bat is telling me that that is the answer to this very possibly disgusting picture.

Lorena, I hope you’ll forgive me for being a little dense, but what connotation do you mean?

Well, I think it sounds rather scatological.

Yes, indeed.

So are you choosing Code Brown?

I think so. He could be trying to throw us off, though, you know?

I mean, I rose to that Code Brown bait, too.

You did?

Oh, I don’t know. You can’t fish like it, too. They’re always hanging around the sewer outflow.

Oh, man.

All right, so A is your answer, then, Code Brown?

I’m going with Code Brown.

That is also correct.

Nicely done.

And you’re right. The brown was the giveaway that it’s scatological. A code brown is a slang term for a patient’s bowel incontinence.

The worst kind.

So the kind that lights up the radars across the hospital, you know?

Oh, did we even need a definition?

Well, you know, we’re adults here. We can giggle a little bit, right?

Speak for yourself.

Lorraine, thank you so much for playing with us today. This was very nice.

Well, thank you so much for having me.

Thank you.

Now you can really play one on TV, huh?

I’m all prepared.

Right, you got the language.

Yeah, well, don’t let me write.

I’ve got the terminology down.

Don’t let me write the script.

You’ll be fired in no time.

Bye-bye, Lauren.

Thank you for playing.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Yeah, congrats.

Thanks.

Well, if you have a question for us about words, language, grammar, slang, code, why not give us a call? The number is 1-877-929-9673. That’s 1-877-Wayword, or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.