Scrambled Theatre

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it. I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette. And joining us on the line from New York City is our quiz guide, John Chaneski. Hi, John.

Hi, Martha. Hi, Grant. What’s up, bud?

Well, you know, I mentioned before that I have a degree in drama, so I love plays.

And I think today’s quiz is going to be about plays.

It’s a good thing that our greatest playwrights have always been good spellers. Otherwise, we might have ended up with the simply awful Tennessee William work, The Slags Menagerie.

Can you imagine?

All right.

I’ll describe a play from this alternate terrible spelling universe. It will be a mashup of the original play and the misspelling. There’ll be one word misspelled in each title. You tell me the misspelled play.

All right.

For example, in this Shakespeare work, Titania, Oberon, Puck, and all the fairies are packing heat. Now that would be a Midsummer Night’s Armed.

Oh, gosh. Okay.

Got it?

All right, there’s plenty of clues in here, too. I’m sure you’ll get it. Let’s see how you do.

Oscar Wilde offers a lighthearted romp in which an idle young gentleman convinces his California friends that he’s from New England.

I want to see that one.

Yeah, that sounds pretty good.

Is that the importance of being Eastern?

Yes, the importance of being Eastern.

Yes, very nice.

Thornton Wilder’s metatheatrical play about sleepy Grover’s Corners, its residents, and how they do whatever it is they feel like doing.

Our want?

Our want, yes.

Our want, I was thinking, what else could that become?

Arthur Lawrence and Stephen Sondheim offer a sort of musical mashup of Romeo and Juliet and Julius Caesar in which all of the jets take a shiv to Tony on March 15th.

West Side Story becomes…

West Ides Story?

West Ides Story, yes.

All right, in this black comedy play, later made into a Frank Capra film starring Cary Grant, two eccentric ladies work in a traveling circus, and they poison lonely men and hide them in their basement.

Arsenic and old lace, but…

Carnies and old lace.

Carnies and old lace, yes.

Again, that’s a play I would go see.

That I would go see.

William Shakespeare.

So good, he could even create a rollicking comedy from a nature documentary about the breeding of small mole-like mammals.

The mating of the shrew?

The mating of the shrew, yes.

NSFW, by the way.

Well, not safe for the kids.

Don’t bring the kids to this one.

More Shakespeare.

This time he turns a famous set of words from a Game of Thrones around, and the Starks find that it’s not as cold as it’s supposed to be.

So winter is coming turns into…

Winter’s late.

The winter’s late, yes.

The winter’s late.

All right, you guys did very, very well.

All of these, I retain the rights to these if anybody wants to put these up as a play.

I’d like to see some of these.

Sure, sure, me too.

All right, and I’ll see you guys next week.

Thanks, John.

Thanks, John.

Bye.

We’ve been talking about language, and we’d love to hear from you. So call us, 877-929-9673, or send us an email. That address is words@waywordradio.org.