Pussyfoot

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

This is Josh. I’m calling from Dallas, Texas.

Hello, Josh. Welcome to the program.

Thank you. I have a question that’s been in the back of my mind about a problem that arose at work about a word.

Okay.

Great.

Okay, so the word that’s in question here is the word pussyfooting or pussyfoot.

Okay.

As in pussyfooting around.

Right.

Just a bit of background.

A couple years ago, it was an educational setting at a school, and we were at a meeting, and this kid really needed help, and people were really beating around the bush and even being evasive about some stuff, and they just were noncommittal about it.

So I said the word, you know, guys, let’s not pussyfoot around.

And this colleague of mine, a female colleague of mine who was, you know, several years older than me, really put me to task.

And I think she said something like, how dare you use that word?

And I took her to mean that it was, you know, sexist or something.

Nobody wanted to touch that because there was a lot of, you know, professionals in the room and I didn’t respond to it.

I wanted to de-escalate the situation, so I just chose a different word.

So I guess my question to you is, is the word pussyfooting around, or pussyfooting itself, offensive in any way?

Or does it have a history of that?

And if so, could you explain about it?

Wow.

My heavens.

This is loaded.

So nicely done on handling that situation exactly as it should be handled.

Move on is always the question, particularly because you had a kid’s future at stake here.

And it wasn’t about the language, it was about the kid, right?

Exactly. And it was an English teacher, so I was really surprised to be put a task about word where it’s really about, like you said, the kid.

But anyways, the word is just, I take it to mean treading lightly like a cat would.

Exactly.

So I just don’t know.

Yeah, treading lightly. It’s exactly what it means.

Pussy footing means to have feet like a cat.

You have soft little pink paws with the fur.

Right.

I imagine a cat, you know, when they make their biscuits, you know, they do that little kneading.

Milk treading.

That’s not to say that cats don’t knock stuff off the counters and shelves all the time.

We’ve got two issues here.

One of them is we’ve got a colleague who didn’t understand that this word is harmless.

And then the other issue is, does that make you liable for her misunderstanding?

I mean, does this obligate you somehow to accommodate her ignorance?

You’re right.

I didn’t think of that issue about, like, am I liable for her being offended?

I have an opinion on this, Martha, but I’m going to hold it back for a second to see what you think.

Well, I’m wondering about this woman, too, if she was just looking for something to be offended by.

Good question.

Was she particularly angry or upset at the way the conversation was going otherwise, Josh?

Well, it’s really funny that you bring that up.

We were friendly, but you know how there’s some people in the workplace that tend to be more critical than others?

She might have been seen as that kind.

Interesting.

-huh.

I would go for caution here.

Now that you are aware that some people don’t know that pussyfoot is not vulgar, it isn’t, it absolutely isn’t.

It behooves you to use something else like tread lightly instead.

I’m sorry, in some cases, particularly in the workplace, we have to accommodate the ignorant and just take the safe path.

At home, I mean, you can have this and make it a big, full discussion.

But in the workplace, you’ve got to take the most conservative route.

Yeah, and this is a really tough one because in and of itself, it is an innocent word.

Yeah, it’s from Pussycat.

It’s a word for kitties, for cats, the little mouser guys.

Yeah, but now you have me paranoid about saying it.

I mean, it’s hard enough to say Pussy Riot on the radio.

Right, exactly, but yet it’s on every news outlet.

NPR uses it all the time.

It’s in print in all the newspapers.

Headlines on the front of magazines at the newsstand, right?

Yeah.

So it’s really interesting here.

But again…

So is there any history of sexism because of the overtones of the word?

Has it ever been used that way?

Put down women in any way or no?

I wouldn’t say that, and not in my experience.

Have there been some one-off uses of it in that way?

Maybe.

Certainly you could load it with innuendo if you wanted to.

And you could turn it into vulgar uses if you had the mind to.

But for the most part in the historical record, the word is simply used to mean somebody who literally treads lightly.

For a time, it only meant a detective or a gumshoe, somebody who was kind of sneaking around to gather information in order to prove a case.

All right, Josh, carry on, and thank you for being thoughtful.

Thanks so much.

Yeah, sure.

All right.

Bye-bye.

Thanks, guys.

Bye.

Pussyfoot goes back to 1890s, shows up in literary uses mostly, eventually starts to be used, again, mainly used in the beginning to mean just to walk softly when you’re up to something.

And then later, it shifts to the use that Josh had, which was to avoid dealing with a difficult subject.

Right, right.

Handle something delicately.

The whole call reminds me of something a therapist once told me, which was, you can be right or you can be in a relationship.

You know, I mean, Josh was right.

And it’s not just romantic relationships.

Exactly.

It’s all of your wonder ones, right?

Exactly, a work relationship.

What’s at stake here is the question.

And that’s really what Josh was asking us.

Exactly.

And what was at stake was collegiality.

Exactly.

What at stake was the future of a child.

And he handled it perfectly.

Yeah, he did.

He was not distracted by the fact that this woman called him on his word choice.

Yes.

She clearly was spoiling for a fight in my eyes.

That’s what I think.

Yeah.

That’s what I think.

But well done.

What words have come up at your workplace that have all of you all talking?

Give us a call, 877-929-9673, or send us an email to words@waywordradio.org.