Phatic Replacements Word Game

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett. And here he is, John Chaneski, our quiz guy. Hello, john John.

Here I am. Hi, Martha. Hi, Grant.

What do you have for us?

I have something today for you I think is very interesting for word lovers.

You may have heard of something called phatic expressions.

Phatic, P-H-A-T-I-C.

Phatic expressions are the oil that lubricates our language.

They’re the phrases that we say automatically that we don’t even think about just to move conversations along.

For example, how’s it going? What’s up?

Now, that’s an entire conversation right there.

If either speaker doesn’t respond to the other’s question, nobody cares.

They’re just acknowledgments of a social situation, right?

You’re here. I’m here. Let’s talk.

And because most people don’t even listen to phatic expressions, you can sometimes have fun with them.

Fun with phatics, okay.

Fun with phatics. Phatic fun.

For example, if a friend is hanging out at my house and says,

That’s a beautiful cat calendar you have there, I’ll say, January much.

Treat it as a game.

See if you can slip one of these by your friends.

January much.

Oh, boy.

Instead of thank you very much.

Okay.

Instead of thank you very much.

Exactly.

I’ll give you a social situation.

You think of a P-H-U-N, fun, phatic response.

And if you need a clue, I’ll overpronounce for you the phatic expression I’m riffing on.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

I meet up with a friend, and she says, hey, here’s that scuba diving DVD you wanted to borrow.

I just mumble…

Tanks?

Tanks, yes.

Very good.

Tanks.

Okay, got it.

Very good.

I lend a friend my copy of the book 1984,

And when I see him again, he tells me he lost it.

I just mumble…

Oh, big brother.

No.

No?

That’s pretty good, though.

I like it, yeah.

Oh, big brother.

I lost 1984.

Orwell.

Orwell.

At a bar, a friend tells me he’s tapped out.

Can I buy him a beer?

I just mumble.

Beer.

Now, there’s a brand name in this one.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course.

Good.

A friend opening a new store asks me to make a web page for him. When I’m done, he says, thank you so much. I just mumble.

Sight.

Sight.

Sight.

Yes.

Good.

Martha actually says that one.

Sure.

I go to visit a friend who lives in Oahu. At the airport, he says, aloha. I just mumble.

Hawaii.

Hawaii.

This is how I talk. That’s why I’m doing these. Hardly a quiz at all, really.

My friend tells me all about how he won a trip to the largest of the Greek islands. I just mumble. That’s Crete. That’s Crete. That’s Crete.

As my roommate is leaving the apartment, she says, I’m off to the optometrist to get tested. Then buying some new mascara, then off to the optician to get my new glasses. I just mumble, see you later.

Aye, aye, aye. That’s not bad. Not see you later? No. Instead of, have a nice day. Have a nice day? Have a nice day, yes. Very good. That actually works with the illusion there. That’s good.

If I walk up to a bunch of friends who are Zen Buddhist monks, I might mumble, namaste. I don’t know. That’s it. You’re two. That’s it. You’re two. Yeah. Namaste would be actually what you would actually say to them. Instead of what’s going on.

What’s going on? That’s not bad. I’ll take that. I was actually going for what’s going on. Oh, man. And that’s all the fatic expressions I have for today. Make up your own.

Hey, John. Thanks for chewing the fatic with us. Thank you, Martha. Thank you, Grant. If you’ve got a question about language, something to talk about, or a puzzle of your own, call us 877-929-9673. Email us, words@waywordradio.org.