Pet “Ownership”

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha. This is Liz calling from Jersey City.

Hi, Liz.

Hi, Liz. Welcome to the program.

Thank you.

What can we do for you?

Almost a year ago, my husband and I got a puppy. Pretty much right from the start, I was in a quandary because I didn’t know how to refer to myself vis-a-vis her. Her name is Donut.

Donut wants to get in on the conversation. We just heard her.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

What kind of dog is she?

She’s a mutt.

Okay, great.

Best kind.

So I remember very early on, you know, when I took her to the vet, I would call up to make an appointment. And I wanted to say, you know, this is Donut’s mom or worse, mommy, because I don’t have any kids. And that’s unfortunately how I think of her. But I felt ridiculous.

Other times I’ve referred to myself as her owner, which feels a little bit more professional and adult, but it also feels sort of extremely impersonal.

Yeah, like it’s a business relationship, right? Like you guys have a contract and she just does work for you and then goes home at the end of the day.

Or like she’s my slave.

And if anything, I’m her slave. It is how it turns out.

And I went online and I’ve talked to other people and apparently guardian is the appropriate term, although that seems very legalistic to me. You know, I was just playing around with words and I thought, well, maybe I could coin a new word. I thought of the word, a combination of human and mom. So, humum.

I was wondering, you know, what you thought of that, what your other listeners might think of that. And I’d love to know also, you know, in other countries or in other languages, you know, how they solve this problem, what they refer to themselves as.

All right. There’s a lot to unpack here, Elizabeth. Tons of stuff to say here.

Martha, you have cats, right?

Yeah, but I’ve had many dogs in my life, and dogs are wonderful. And I think what’s happening here is our relationship with them is changing. I mean, you were talking about when we were growing up and we called ourselves owners, and we also, you know, fed them table scraps. And now, you know, you go and you buy all this organic stuff. Or you’re much more careful about what you feed them, right? And you can spend a fortune in the pet store.

But is this just, is this something that’s changed? Or is it just that your personal awareness has changed? Both of you, I ask you, Martha and Elizabeth. I mean, what you observed as a child was probably the barest glimpse of what was really happening around you, right? But maybe you just become a little more aware of.

No, absolutely. Although certainly my parents never referred to themselves as, you know, our then dog’s mother or father.

Right. I’m Pumpkin’s mommy. She needs to come in for a checkup.

Right. My cats currently don’t say that, but I’m confused as well because I know there are people around me who give me the cocked eyebrow when I say that I owned the cat so that I’m their owner.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. So sometimes I’ll just default to saying I’m their person.

Yeah, that’s what I do a lot. I’m their human.

I’m their human, yeah. They’re part of our family.

This is something about Jersey City, but here a lot of pet owners refer to themselves as the dog’s mother or father.

That’s pretty common. There was a survey I see in 2011, 58% of American dog owners said they call themselves things like mommy and daddy when referring to their dogs, and 54% consider themselves to be pet parents instead of pet owners.

That’s great.

That’s great. I don’t feel quite as pathetic.

Yeah, and, you know, I think maybe, too, it’s a matter of register because I think certainly at the dog park, I would say I’m Lily’s mommy. But at the vet’s office, I don’t think I’d say that.

Okay. Well, I know as far as what they say in other countries, I don’t have any information there. But I think what we really need to do, Elizabeth, is kind of do an informal radio survey and see what other people call themselves when they’re talking about their pets to a third party.

What do you tell your family when you’re talking about your pet? What do you tell the vet when you’re at the dog park? What do you say? Hi, I’m Grant. I belong to Whopper?

I don’t know. That would be great if you would do that.

Will do. If you’ve got an answer to these questions, call us, 877-929-9673, or email us, words@waywordradio.org.

All right. Thank you so much for taking my call.

Thanks for calling, Liz.

Listen in. We’ll see what we find out, okay?

Thanks so much, and I love the show.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Thanks, Liz.

Bye-bye.

Okay, bye-bye.