Parental Non-Sequiturs

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Amy calling from Powder Springs, Georgia.

Hi, Amy.

Where’s Powder Springs?

It’s one of the western suburbs of Atlanta.

Oh, okay. All right. Well, what are you calling about?

I have a little anecdote to tell you, and I was hoping you two could tell me if you’ve ever heard anything like this before, or if it’s just an odd family thing.

Oh, great. Bring it on.

I grew up in a very large baby boomer family. There’s 11 of us, and I’m number seven. And as you can imagine, with that many kids, there were often times when there was a lot of arguing or even, God forbid, fighting.

When that kind of thing happened, either mom or dad would shout out, do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb? Then one of us would have to answer, not if it’s in cans. And that, of course, would throw us off the argument and we wouldn’t be arguing anymore. So it would be a good way to derail all the kids from arguing.

I know that sounds really silly, but I’m wondering if that’s true. I hear somebody laughing in the background. Somebody’s really enjoying that.

That’s my husband in the background laughing because he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous.

That’s okay.

That’s okay.

We all have our – so this is family trips ages ago.

Yes.

Yes, a long time ago.

You know, it’s funny that that is completely in line with the way that I’ve seen it used. And it’s not only your family. I hope that’s a relief to you or at least interesting. And to your husband.

It is classically two things. It’s a non sequitur to use when you want to change the subject from something uncomfortable. And it’s also used, you’ll find this in newspapers all the time from the 30s and 40s, used as an example of kind of aimless, pointless speech. Kind of like, how about them yanks, or hot enough for you, you know?

-huh. Nice weather we’re having. Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

I found examples of this as far back as 1939.

Really?

Yes, absolutely. And you’ll find again and again that when it’s mentioned, people will say, people will use it exactly kind of the context you’re talking about to represent somebody who doesn’t have anything better to say or somebody who needs to change the subject fast.

That’s amazing to me. I thought that was just totally a family thing.

No. And, Amy, I’ve heard other versions of it, too. Like, do you think the rain will hit the rhubarb? Only if we don’t oil it. Which is sort of as ridiculous as not if it’s in cans.

I do have to say that the not if it’s in cans part I’ve never seen before.

Oh, really?

That could be unique to your family. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that anywhere else.

Oh, well, how about that? We’re special.

Well, every family is special. Every family has its own in-house language, its own vocabulary.

That’s amazing because I had no idea that that would be anything anybody else in the universe would use.

Love it. Love it.

Well, it’s not that common if that’s any comfort to you.

But it should be. We could have world peace if we just stopped conflicts by saying, do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

It would work.

That’s what Hillary Clinton’s going to do.

That’s right.

It would work.

I can just picture Hillary. Well, yeah, we could talk about that. Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

Well, I’m glad I gave you all a chuckle.

Yeah, it’s good stuff.

It’s good stuff.

You take care of yourself there in Powder Springs, all right?

Bye.

Bye-bye.

I wonder if other people have expressions that they use to intervene in arguments, too.

We’d love to hear them. Call us at 1-877-929-9673 or email us. The address is words@waywordradio.org.