Quiz Guy John Chaneski has a quiz inspired by March Madness, taking us through the year with the name of a month followed by an adjective with the suffix -ness attached to form an alliterative noun phrase. For example, what do you call a festival in which everyone wears a hat a rakish angle and the attendees decide which is the most lively and cheerful? This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “–Ness Word Game”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.
I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett.
And on the line from New York City is our quiz guy, John Chaneski.
Hi, John.
Hi, Grant.
Hi, Martha.
What is up, dude?
Well, you know what? I was just thinking recently about certain events that occur periodically. And one of them is this thing called March Madness. You’re familiar with it? This college basketball tourney.
Absolutely.
Well, what I love about this event, March Madness, is that it’s not just one day. It’s sort of like Yuletide. It’s an ongoing event that lasts for a long time. I think each month should have within it a little mini season of some kind just to take the edge off of, you know, living, right?
-huh. I think I know where you’re going with this.
Right. So to honor March Madness, we’ll make sure that each monthly celebration is both a competition and that each has a name that starts with the month and an alliterative noun that begins with the same first two letters and ends in N-E-S-S.
Got that written down?
Okay, yeah.
Okay, good.
For example, and you could even do this one as the first one if you know it. For example, let’s have a festival where everybody wears a hat at a rakish angle and we decide who is the most lively and cheerful. It would be…
Jaunty January.
January.
Now remember, January jauntiness.
Oh, January jauntiness.
Jauntiness, right. Don’t forget the N-E-S-S, okay? In honor of March Madness.
Very good.
Very good.
You count that as one for you.
Knocked off one.
January jauntiness.
All right, how about this one? Let’s have an event where we go down to the zoo and determine which of the carnivores is the most savage and brutal.
February ferociousness?
Yes, February ferociousness.
Hear about this one. Let’s have an event where we determine whose words are the most suitable and fitting for different situations.
Are we doing March or did we already do that?
No, we skipped March because it’s already got March.
I’m going to say either April appropriateness or August augustness.
It is April appropriateness.
Very good.
How about this one? Let’s give stinky things their due with a tournament to decide what items have the most offensive smells.
Malodorousness.
Yes, May malodorousness.
How about this one? A celebration of fruit. Put oranges and limes in your bracket as we squeeze them to determine which one has the most liquidy sweetness.
June juiciness.
June juiciness.
I can get behind that one in various ways, I think.
Next one.
If you can’t calm down, that’s fine. We’re planning a tournament, and if you are timorous and easily startled, you’ll make it to the final four.
July jumping-ness.
Yes, July jumping-ness.
July jumping-ness.
Yeah, another one that would be very interesting to watch.
How about let’s have an event where we judge things and how promising they are and how likely they are to produce favorable results.
August auspiciousness?
Yes, August auspiciousness.
Well done.
Let’s have a celebration of those who are charitable.
Amnesty International versus Doctors Without Borders.
Oxfam America versus Habitat for Humanity.
Which one puts others before their own needs the best?
September servant leadership?
Service? September serviceness?
Put others before your own needs.
Sacrifice.
Self-abnegationness.
Self-sacrificeness?
No, I’m going to go with September selflessness.
Oh.
All right.
Too hard again.
No, that’s good.
That’s good.
Now, I’m sorry to say we’re taking October off. There’s nothing going on in October. You cannot find an adjective that begins with O.C. and ends in N-E-S-S. At least nothing useful.
Here’s the next one.
Toddlers on airplanes, rejoice. Upstairs neighbors with a heavy tread, your time has come. We’re going to determine who is the loudest and most annoying.
November noisiness.
Yes, November noisiness.
Very good.
Finally, are you two-faced? A professional spy, perhaps? We’re going to have a competition to see who is the most double-dealing, scheming, Machiavellian trickster around.
Ooh.
December deceptiveness?
Very good.
I had four possibles for this one.
Oh, really?
We could have December deceitfulness, December deviousness, or December…
Oh, no, I can’t actually use this last one.
Duplicitousness doesn’t have the D-E.
But I like yours.
I like yours.
Very good.
Nice work.
Let’s get started on these celebrations right away.
Party!
Yeah.
Party!
Where’s my bracket?
Thank you, guys.
Thanks.
Really appreciate it.
And if you’d like to talk with us about any aspect of language whatsoever, the number to call is 877-929-9673 or send it to us in email. That address is words@waywordradio.org.
