Moose-Tanned Slang This!

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

It’s time for our weekly slang challenge, where we try to stump a member of the National Puzzlers League.

Today’s contestant is Joe Cabrera from Boston, Massachusetts.

Hi, Joe.

What do you do there in Boston?

I do graphic design, print production mainly, a little programming on the side.

And a little puzzling too, I guess, huh?

Oh, a lot of puzzling, unfortunately.

What do you mean, unfortunately?

People give you inquisitive looks all the time?

Oh, yeah. I’m always on the subway with my little pad of puzzles, just leaving away, wasting, killing time.

Nice. Well, Joe, we like to start by asking our contestants if they have a favorite slang term for us, speaking of being inquisitive.

Oh, yeah, actually, I do. It’s the term, a Clark Kent job.

Ooh, what’s that? Is that like your day job that subsidizes the night job that you really want to be doing for a living?

Exactly.

That’s exactly what it is.

I’ve never heard that term.

Where did you pick it up?

I heard someone using it on the Internet once, and I said, oh, that’s kind of interesting, and I looked it up, and other people have used it.

Oh, no kidding.

So into a nearby phone booth. Are there still any phone booths around?

Oh, good point.

What do superheroes do now?

I think he just changes so super fast that it doesn’t matter where he is.

Oh, that makes sense.

All right, well, Joe, let’s see how you do with our quiz. I’ll give you a sentence with a blank in it with two possible answers. Only one is correct.

In case you need a lifeline, Martha will be standing by to try to help you.

Okay?

Okay.

All right, let’s see how we do.

Here’s the first one. Whoa, she kicked him right in the blank so hard that he almost vomited.

Is it A, prosciutto, or B, la bonza? That’s L-A-B-O-N-Z-A. And prosciutto is P-R-O-S-C-I-U-T-T-O.

That’s my two choices?

That’s it.

That’s it.

I’m going to go, I’ve heard this one before, so I’m going to go with La Banza.

Oh, yeah, why is that?

The bread basket.

The bread basket, the belly, the punch?

Yeah, I mean, that’s what I’m guessing.

That’s what I’m guessing.

You’re absolutely right, and do you have any idea where that comes from?

La Banza.

It sounds Italian.

Yeah, there we go.

Is it?

I’m not familiar with it.

Yeah, it probably comes from the Italian term la pancia, L-A-P-A-N-C-I-A, which is the ponch.

Sure, la pancia in Spanish.

So occasionally it’s been used to mean the buttocks, but that’s rarer.

Yeah, usually it means the belly.

Kind of a tougher target to hit, too.

Yeah.

So, whoa, she kicked him right in the la banza so hard that he almost vomited.

That means she kicked him right in the gut.

Ouch, ouch.

Yes.

All right, so let’s try another one. This is the other one.

Okay.

Kind of not feeling well. Bad case of the blank. Maker’s Mark takes its toll.

So what do I have a bad case of?

Is it the Woefits, W-O-E-F-I-T-S, or the Moose-Tand, M-O-O-S-E hyphen T-A-N-N-E-D?

Can you read that out?

Sure.

Yeah, read that off one word there.

Kind of not feeling well. Bad case of the blank. Maker’s Mark really takes its toll.

And the two choices again are?

Wofitz and Moose Tand.

Wofitz and Moose Tand.

So, Joe, are you familiar with Maker’s Mark?

No.

Oh, so I could substitute Southern Comfort or Jameson’s or Jägermeister in there.

Thank you.

We’re talking about a pretty serious alcohol.

We’re talking about good old Kentucky bourbon is what we’re talking about.

All right.

Let’s see.

I don’t know about moose in Kentucky.

No, I don’t either.

Well, it’s just an alcohol. Don’t read too much into that.

Okay.

That might make you feel not well.

I kind of like woe fits. It’s a nice little combination of misery and just like a physical reaction.

Oh, so you’re having woe and you’re having some fits?

Yeah.

That sounds like a good description of a hangover to me.

Right.

And it’s exactly right. Joe, that’s exactly it.

It is Wolfitz. Sometimes it’s spelled and said as Wolfitz, W-O-O-F-I-T-S, and it just means a hangover.

It’s almost like a captain jammer.

Exactly.

There we go.

Exactly.

Beautiful.

Joey, that’s two for two. You’re a superhero.

Awesome.

I like comic books, so that’s good for me.

Nice work, Joe. Congratulations.

Oh, thank you very much.

Well, thank you so much, Joe. Good luck with the puzzling.

Oh, thanks. It was fun.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Okay, see you.

Bye-bye.

And if you have a question for us about words, language, grammar, slang, why not give us a call? The number is 1-877-929-9673. That’s 1-877-WAYWORD. Or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.