Words for Missing the Present While It’s Still Unfolding

Hello.

You have A Way with Words.

Hi.

This is Becca from Corinth, Texas.

How are y’all?

Hi, Becca.

Doing great.

What can we do for you?

So, growing up, I always heard to appreciate things because they won’t last forever.

And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve really kind of played with that feeling.

I used to live in Colorado.

I would go hiking in the mountains, walking along the trails.

It was the most beautiful place I’ve ever lived.

And I had this feeling of, I know that I’m appreciating this the most that I can, and still I know that it’s going to go away.

What do I do with that?

It was almost like a homesickness for a place that I hadn’t left yet, like preemptive nostalgia.

Because I knew that I did not have the capacity to appreciate it anymore.

So what was I supposed to do with that?

Does that make any sense?

Absolutely.

Although it’s heavy stuff, Becca.

That’s heavy I’m poet.

What can I say?

No, no.

It says a lot about you that this is on your mind.

Just said something that rang a bell for me.

You talked about, what did you phrase it?

Something about nostalgia?

Yeah, is say, homes a Jorge Luis Borges poem translates into English as nostalgia for the present.

And it’s such, it’s very short, but it’s exactly what you’re talking about.

There’s one line in particular that translates as sharing the now, as one partakes of music or the taste of fruit.

And it’s about that all of these things are passing.

Music is passing.

The taste of fruit is only momentary.

And, I mean, of course, this genius poet, Borges, of course, he got there before the rest of us, right?

But I just think about nostalgia for the present.

The title of the poem is exactly what you’re talking about.

Maybe, maybe it’s not as neat, as tidy as a single word, but I think it works.

Yeah.

I’m wondering about, what was the phrase you used in terms of homesickness?

Homesick for a place I haven’t left yet.

Yeah, yeah.

I think that is absolutely gorgeous.

I feel like I’ve heard people talk about that in terms of climate, you know, that sort of anticipatory climate grief, you know?

Yeah.

Homesickness for a place you haven’t left yet.

And I’m also thinking, I mean, maybe you’re familiar with the German phrase from Goethe’s tragic play Faust.

It’s one of the most famous phrases in German literature that goes, [Ferveille doch, du bist so schön!]

Which means, stay while, oh beautiful moment.

It’s it’s this moment where, where you just don’t want things to end.

But you know they will.

Yeah.

But you know that they Yeah.

A lot of Yeah, and it was kind of this, I felt very, my emotions felt very inferior because I was like, if appreciation was enough to keep things from feeling sad when they’re gone, like, that would just solve everything, right?

It’s just, it’s not enough.

You can appreciate and appreciate, but it still goes away.

Some of what we’re talking about is savoring, but it doesn’t capture the other part of it, which is knowing that it will go away.

So I’m thinking about the word poignancy, p o I g n a n c y.

Although it’s a little bleached by overuse and misuse, and it’s got a lot of very flexible meanings depending on the context.

Its original sense was to be sharp with feelings.

And it comes from a word in French meaning to pierce.

So it’s about, not just very moving and deeply affecting things, but about the ones that cause these about having these sharp feelings, you know?

And often sadness is a part of poignancy, and regret and a lot of these other gentle negative emotions.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Man, see, I love I…

When I write, I don’t write about happy stuff.

Like writing about sad stuff because that is what I want to examine.

I don’t need to, like, hold the happiness up to the light and play with it.

Like, I just want to live that.

But the sad feelings and the deep feelings, I really enjoy dissecting them and understanding where they come from and why.

So I appreciate y’all.

Becca, let me give you one more thing before we go.

Researcher Christine Batcho, that’s k r y s t I n e, b a t c h o.

She works in behavioral and she has something I believe she’s the one who first called it anticipatory nostalgia.

Feeling exactly what you’re talking about.

This feeling of missing or longing for the present while it’s still unfolding.

Well, that’s happening.

But I think if you Google her work, you’ll come up with some perhaps a little academic and scientific, but you’ll come up with some stuff that may inspire you and your own writing.

And Becca, I’m sure you’re going to inspire lots of people to call with their terms for this, whether it’s in English or another language, because I think we can all relate to this.

And we’d appreciate better, more and better ways to talk about it.

Yes, I love that.

I’m so open to that.

I thank you all so much for what you do.

You’ve gotten me through so many road trips and really just been like a little virtual friend when I felt So very thank you for Oh, gosh.

That’s really sweet.

And Becca, if you end up writing a poem about this, we’d love to read it.

Or whatever you end up writing it.

I have written a poem about it, actually.

I have one.

Oh, awesome.

You have to send it.

Becca, keep thinking deep thoughts that you’re doing the world a good, a good thing.

Yeah, we love fun.

And y’all keep doing what you’re doing too.

Thank you so much.

Bye bye.

Take care.

Yes.

Bye bye.

There’s so many other words for this feeling in so many languages.

A lot of people have tackled this from a million different angles.

But we know that you, our listeners, you read a lot and you might have something we haven’t thought of.

So, by all means, share it.

You can send it to us an email, wordswaywardradio dot org.