Miss Word Pageant Quiz

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett, and we’re joined by the king of the quiz frontier, John Chaneski.

Hello, John.

Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha.

It’s not that wild anymore. I left wild off.

I’m going to take my quiz king crown off for a second.

It’s kind of chafing a little bit, but things are good here.

They make coonskin caps bigger than that.

That’s right. Coonskin crowns, as it were.

Sure. You know, guys, it’s about that time of year again.

It’s time to crown not Miss America, not Miss Universe, but Miss Word.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, Miss Word.

Thank you.

I hope it matches my shoes.

Martha, you’re the incumbent, aren’t you?

Now, you may argue that pageants are all popularity contests, and that’s okay because that’s exactly what this one is.

I’ve entered several famous trios of words into a commonly used search engine to see which ones get the most hits.

For example, I searched for the words bacon, lettuce, and tomato and recorded their hits.

Now, can you rank all three of these terms according to how well they did?

Oh, wow.

Oh, nice.

Yeah?

So you’ve got a pat-set phrase and we’re supposed to rank them.

Yeah.

Okay.

I have a guess for number one.

Bacon is just way out in front.

Bacon is so far out in front.

Yeah, that would be my guess.

The other words look like Pluto.

That’s my guess as well.

Tomato second and then lettuce.

I’ll rank at number one.

Yep, that’s where I would go.

You want to go bacon, tomato, lettuce.

Bacon, TL.

Yes.

You are correct.

Bacon, $178 million.

Tomato, $164 million.

Not shabby.

And lettuce at a $49.4.

Wow, bringing up the rear.

Now, let’s see how our other contestants did.

Ready to go?

Yeah.

Okay.

Lock, stock, and barrel.

Lock, stock, and barrel.

Okay.

Oh, stock has to be way out in front.

That would be my guess.

Lock second and barrel third.

That’s my guess as well.

That is correct.

Stock at $3,480,000,000.

Lock at a paltry $757,000,000.

And barrel $192,000,000.

So stock in the lead.

Very good.

How about hook, line, and sinker?

Line.

Yep.

When you say it, Martha, yeah.

And then hook.

Yep.

And then sinker.

That’s where I would go.

Say it again?

Sorry.

Line, hook, sinker in the order of popularity?

That is exactly correct.

Yep.

Line way out in front.

How about bell, book, and candle?

Bell, book.

Okay, I have a guess.

Me too.

Okay, Grant, why don’t you go first?

Book by 100 million.

Bell and then candle.

That’s exactly where I was going.

That is exactly correct.

Yes, book was way out in front, and then bell and candle.

How about snap, crackle, pop?

Ooh.

Or snap, crackle, soda, as they say in some parts of the country.

Snap, crackle, dad.

Okay, that’s going to be, okay, I got to guess.

I would guess pop is first, snap is second, and crackle is third.

Same here.

Grant concurs, and you are both right.

Booyah.

Very tight race there for pop and snap, but crackle laid down on the bottom.

Now it’s time to crown Miss Word.

Here are the three words that scored the highest hits.

Can you rank them in order?

Okay, the highest.

Line, book, stock.

Line, book, and stock.

Oh, this is where it gets really tough.

Stock.

Just because.

Yeah.

I’m thinking of business stock.

I’m thinking of cattle stock.

I’m thinking of the verb and the noun.

I’m thinking of financial stock.

Okay.

I’m going to go with book.

That can be a verb as well.

Book your flight.

So one of these is going to be in tears.

One of these words is going to be crying.

Well, you’re both going to be in tears because of 2012.

I did it again.

2012 Miss Word is line.

No, are you serious?

Yes.

Line has $5,130,000,000.

Book has $4,720,000,000.

And stock has $3,480,000,000.

Congratulations to Miss Line.

So congratulations to all our contestants.

And congratulations to Grant and Martha.

You both did pretty well on that.

Thanks, John, though, anyway, for harassing us once a week.

Sure, my pleasure.

If you’d like to harass us, give us a call, 877-929-9673, or send your questions about words and language and everything else to us an email, words@waywordradio.org.