Lackabookaphobia? (minicast)

Welcome to another summer minicast from A Way with Words.

We’re still on summer hiatus.

As you’re listening to this, we’re probably reading books on the beach,

Or listening to books on our iPods while we do the gardening or clean up the utility room.

Jeannie in Wisconsin does the same thing.

Books for her are a serious matter.

Some people wouldn’t be caught without the season’s latest fashions,

And others never leave home without their asthma inhaler.

But the one thing Jeannie fears most is being caught without a book.

Hello, this is Jeannie from the very top of Wisconsin, up by Lake Superior.

Oh, I thought you were saying from the top of the world.

I was like, how’s Santa?

Yes, yes.

Well, I’m a brand new listener.

I just discovered you three or four weeks ago, and I love the show.

And I have developed a new phobia that I don’t think anybody has a word for.

And so I’m counting on you to either find a word for it or invent one for me.

Oh, wow.

Now, my phobia is this, and I’ve been joking with some of my librarian friends about it for a few years now.

I am just terrified of being caught on a long driving trip without an audio book.

Now, there probably was an older variation probably for centuries of this,

People who were afraid to be caught without a book to read.

Right.

I mean, if you’re caught in a waiting room or on a plane or a train,

I mean, a plane is a few hours, a train is a few days.

Right, or a bathroom without a basket full of magazines.

Oh, absolutely.

Yes, that’s the Sunday funnies for me.

I mean, you just can’t do it without something to read.

And I’m wondering if there is a word for a phobia of being, you know,

The overall umbrella term would be being caught without something to read,

But on a driving trip, the radio stations fade in and fade out,

And I just need that escape of a book to listen to.

But I’ve gotten to the point that if I had to go on a driving trip without a book,

I don’t know what I’d do.

I don’t think I could live.

Wow.

So you have this morbid fear of being caught.

I have a fear of being caught without an audio book, and my librarians have been laughing at me.

I said, oh, no, I think I’d get the shakes.

And then, of course, that means I’m an addict, so if these were withdrawn, I’d…

Well, did it ever happen to you that you accidentally ran off without your audio books?

Oh, no, oh, no, I always…

You would turn around and go home.

And if I was starting to run low, then I’d listen, you know, just a little at a time and then take a break.

Oh, Jeannie.

I’m out toward the end.

Well, Jeannie, first of all, I would tell you that you’re not alone.

I’m sure.

I’m sure there must be other people who spend time in the car.

But then, of course, I’ve gotten so hooked now.

I’ve got one going in the kitchen, one going in the car,

And one going in my workshop out in the garage.

Sure.

Well, you know, if you’re riding, like on a train, of course,

I take a second book because I don’t want to,

If I happen to finish the first book,

Then I have a backup that’s a security blanket.

But when you’re using, you need to use your hands and your eyes.

There are people who scoff at people who listen to audiobooks instead of reading them.

But you can’t read when you’re driving.

And you can’t read when you’re washing the dishes.

And you can’t read when you’re doing artwork, which my artwork is kind of repetitive.

Okay.

And so I need something to occupy my mind to entertain me.

But I don’t think there’s a word for people who are afraid to read out their book or their audiobook.

Oh, but we’re going to fix that.

We’re going to straighten that right out.

Oh, we are?

I thought you would.

I can count on you.

We’re going to come up with something, or if we can’t come up with something decent, we’re going to put the call out.

Right.

Your listeners will.

Because naming your problem is the first step to solving it.

But I don’t want to solve it.

You don’t want to solve it.

Right.

Okay.

How about this?

How about this?

Misabookophobia.

Misabookophobia.

And that would cover whether it’s an audio book or a –

Yeah.

I guess it would.

Maybe.

Well, now, there is a kind of jokey term that I’ve seen, abibliophobia.

No, sure.

A-bibliophobia.

A meaning no, negative, and not.

Yeah.

Yeah, but that, you know, that’s the problem with a lot of those Greek-based terms is they just don’t sound so cool once you…

They don’t come off the song very well, do they?

No, or lack-a-book-a-phobia.

Lack-a-book-a-phobia.

Wait, that sounds like some place in Wisconsin, doesn’t it?

Yeah, it really does.

I think maybe there is a town.

There’s a lake there, I heard.

Yeah, I like that, lack-a-book-a-phobia.

I think that he’s got it.

Really?

Yeah, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Most of my coonages people are like, eh.

How simple this was.

A simple phone call has solved my…

I’ll tell you what.

Let’s don’t close the contest yet.

Let’s just put this out.

As I say, we’re going to put the red lights on and get them flashing,

And we’re going to turn on the sirens,

And we’ll see if somebody can come up with something better than that.

I’d hate for you to settle on something

And then later decide that you didn’t have enough choices, you know?

Yes, thank you so much.

You’ve made me feel so much better now.

It was a delight to take your call, Jeannie.

Well, thanks a lot.

And I am going to, you have now a very dedicated listener.

That’s brilliant. Awesome.

Even more so now I know you personally.

Take care of yourself, Jeannie.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Bye-bye.

Happy trails.

All right, so maybe misabookophobia and lackabookophobia aren’t really going to cut it.

So the sirens are indeed blaring and the lights are definitely flashing,

Which means we’re putting out the call for a word that, in a nutshell,

Means to be caught without a book to read or to listen to.

In other words, what would you call the condition of being bookless?

You can leave your coinages on our website at waywordradio.org

Or call us with them at 1-877-Wayword.

That’s 1-877-929-9673.

Of course, we’ll always take your emails at words@waywordradio.org.

And that’s all for this summer minicast.

You can hear past shows for free on our website

As well as talk with other listeners about our topics.

The forums are hopping even in the summer

As we post links to interesting language-related news from around the globe.

For A Way with Words, I’m Grant Barrett.

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