Quiz Guy John Chaneski puts on his toque and serves up a quiz about kitchen spices. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Kitchen Spices Word Quiz”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.
I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett, and we’re joined by John Chaneski, our quiz guide.
Hi, John.
Hi, Grant. Hi, Martha.
Hey, John.
It’s me once again. Hi.
What is up?
Well, I have something brand new for you today.
Listen to this.
Welcome to the A Way with Words kitchens.
Kitchens.
Oh, no.
This kitchens.
This is where we learn to assemble a really great word salad or dip a phrase in chocolate.
I’ll be your instructor.
Are you ready to begin?
Yes, let’s go.
Let me put on my apron.
Excuse me, yes what?
Yes, chef, yes, sir.
Yes, that’s it, yes, chef.
Now, you see, the first thing you’ll need to learn is herbs and spices.
But being a pretentious snot, I, of course, have made up kitchen slang, sort of like diner slang, to create an air of esoteric knowledge.
For example, if I’m cooking and I demand that you bring me what is commonly known as the fourth dimension, then obviously what I want you to find in the pantry is…
Time.
Time, exactly, yes.
Just like the diner slang, I seem to use more words than is necessary for some reason.
No matter.
I need the following herbs and or spices.
Let’s get cooking.
Here we go.
Okay.
Bring me Fred’s dancing partner.
Ginger.
Ginger, yeah.
Very good, yes.
Bring me the ginger.
Bring me Mia Farrow in a movie about the devil.
Rosemary.
Yes, thank you.
Very prompt, Grant.
Right away.
Good.
Bring me what sounds like a Jamaican accusing someone of a religious offense.
Cinnamon.
Cinnamon.
Very good.
Nicely done, Grant.
Going through the spice rack.
Bring me an adjective that means like a mongrel.
Like a mongrel.
Something cur.
Muddy.
Cur.
Cur.
Curry.
Yes.
That is slightly curry.
That’s good.
Okay.
Okay.
Bring me the main character from the BBC series Fawlty Towers.
Basil.
Basil.
Basil.
Basil.
Basil.
Either one of those will do.
All right.
Bring me actress Ryan gone completely gaga for something.
Ryan gone gaga?
Nutmeg.
Nutmeg, yes.
Bring me the nutmeg.
Bring me the total destruction of the plantation and gone with the wind.
Tarragon.
Tarragon please.
This one’s…
That’s terrible.
Well, we’ll have our opinions in the kitchen.
Bring me a seven of spades and a woman with children.
Seven of spades.
Something mother.
Cardamom.
Cardamom.
Cardamom.
Oh, I get it.
Sometimes you can get it without getting it.
It’s very interesting.
Finally, bring me everything we have in the rack.
Allspice.
Allspice, yes.
Oh, Grant, I knew you were waiting for that one.
Oh, my God.
I’m going to quit this job in this kitchen and never come to your restaurant because it sounds like you’re overusing your spices, my friend.
Oh, there’s no such thing as too much spice.
Oh, Chef John, our tokes are off to you.
Paul, thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
All right.
We’ll talk to you next week, buddy.
See you next week.
Bye.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Oh, my gosh.
If you want to talk about any aspect of language whatsoever, call us, 877-929-9673, or send your questions and email to words@waywordradio.org.
