iPuzzle

You’re listening to A Way with Words. I’m Martha Barnette.

And I’m Grant Barrett, and we’re joined once again by our quiz guy, Greg Pliska.

Hello, Greg.

Hello, Grant. Hello, Martha.

What’s cooking, buddy?

What’s cooking? I’m making some pasta, actually.

Yeah, yeah. A little red sauce on that. Some cheese.

A little red sauce.

You boiling it?

Do you use the cheese that comes in the green can, or do you grate your own?

I grate my own. I have to admit.

I’m a cheese snob when it comes to that.

Pecorino or Romano?

A little of both, actually.

I got a little parmesan.

I’ve got some Romano.

Do you have a quiz in there somewhere amongst your recipes and your spoons?

I do, and it’s not about cheese.

Thank goodness.

We’re tired of those cheese quiz.

Oh, I was all ready for it.

I’ll do cheese next week.

Okay.

It’s a little, you know, it’s very topical.

You know, Apple’s latest big thing is the iPad.

Oh, yeah.

I’m sure Grant is looking up the answers on his iPad right now.

No, no.

I’m not going to buy one.

He’s not an iPad kind of guy.

You know, it’s predicted to change our lives forever like everything else.

And before that, we had the iPod, the iMac, the iPhone, and so on.

So I’ve got a little quiz that I call i-dition.

Okay.

You’re going to take a word, add an i to it as if you were creating an Apple product, and get a new word.

Okay.

Okay.

And does the i always go at the beginning?

I always goes at the beginning, yes.

Very good question.

For example, if I gave you the clue, the button that starts up your iPad, you would give me a word starting with I.

Ignition?

Ion.

Ion.

Oh, Ion.

The on button with an I in front.

It’s the Ion.

Okay, great.

Okay.

All right.

Does that make sense?

Mm—

Mm—

Here’s your first one.

Okay.

This is when you try to buy an iPod at an auction.

I bid.

I bid.

I bid.

Yeah, I bid, I bid, I bid, yes.

Okay, so it doesn’t have to be a long I.

Well, you know, not in that case, but in many of them, yes.

I bid.

We might have to massage pronunciation a little bit here and there.

Okay.

This is how Steve Jobs begins a card game.

Ideal.

Ideal, exactly.

Oh, nice.

Because I shuffled, it’s already been taken, right?

Exactly, exactly.

You have to have an ideal before you can, after you have your iShuffle.

This is a scam in which someone tries to sell you a fake Apple product.

A scam.

A fake Apple product.

I bogus.

I fraud.

I hoax.

I rip off.

I rip.

You’re starting with a three-letter word, and you’re going to make a four-letter word.

Iris.

Con.

Icon.

Icon.

Oh, that should have been easy.

There you go.

It’s a con.

It’s an icon.

All right.

Your next one is how much Steve Jobs charges per hour?

For this advertisement?

I don’t know.

What are we getting for this?

We’ll take trade.

I rate.

I rate.

I rate.

Very good.

I rate, exactly.

Very good.

The rate per hour.

Okay.

The next few of these are all phonetic, which means you’re going to add an I and take the

Sound of the original word, but the spelling won’t necessarily transfer exactly.

Harder.

Harder.

Okay.

This is Apple’s new farming tool.

I hoe.

I hoe.

Hi, comma.

New farming tool.

So rake or hoe or plow or—

Something you use to cut down a lot of wheat.

I-size?

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

I—

There you go.

Oh, man.

This one is how the number five would be written on a Roman iPad.

Ivy?

Ivy.

There we go. Ivy.

Here are a couple more that are phonetic, and they don’t even start with the letter I.

They just start with the sound I.

Aha.

This is how Steve Jobs whips his employees into shape.

And whip is the important word there.

I crack.

I flagellate.

I fog.

I crack.

I bullwhip.

When you get in trouble, someone’s going to give you 30 lashes.

Oh, eyelashes.

Very good.

Eyelashes, yes.

This is the kind of boat that Apple employees go on when they go on vacation.

Eyeliner.

Eyeliner, exactly.

Eyeliner.

Eyeliner.

Eyeliner, yeah.

Okay.

And this is discomfort caused by using an Apple product.

Discomfort?

Eyestrain.

Oh, very good.

That’s good.

No.

That works.

Yeah, it works.

I was thinking of another kind.

I was thinking of eyesore.

Oh, eyesore.

Eyesore.

Yeah, sure.

Very good.

Either one works.

This is what you drink out of when you go over to Steve’s house for a cocktail.

Retired Mac SE 30s?

I don’t know.

Eye mug, eye glass, eye tumbler, eye…

Eye glass.

You have an eye glass.

Oh, hello.

Eye glasses.

Exactly.

Now, this last one starts with an eye, but it’s phonetic as the earlier ones were.

Okay.

This is what you can get sued for if you publicly defame an Apple product.

Oh, is it a person in the North Atlantic?

It is, yes.

An Icelander?

Icelander, exactly.

Icelander, very nice.

That’s great, Greg.

Thank you.

Well, if you have a question about wordplay or language or grammar or slang or regional dialects,

Give us a call, 1-877-929-9673.

That’s 1-877-Wayword, or send an email to words@waywordradio.org.