Sherry from Green Bay, Wisconsin, remembers that whenever she balked at doing a chore as a kid, her grandmother would say If ifs and ands were pots and pans, a tinker would have no trade. Her grandmother was suggesting that merely paying lip service to something doesn’t get the task done. Another version goes If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands. A still longer version: If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride / If turnips were watches, I’d wear one by my side / If ifs and ands were pots and pans / There would be no work for tinkers. Dandy Don Meredith often recited a similar a somewhat similar phrase about wishful thinking that involved candied nuts. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “If Ifs and Ands Were Pots and Pans”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi, this is Sherry from Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Hello, Sherry. Welcome to the show.
Hi, Sherry.
What’s up?
Hi, I was just calling to find out a phrase that my grandmother used to say to me all the time. She said, if ifs and ands were pots and pans, a tinker would have no trade. And when I was a kid, I used to look at her like, what are you talking about? I didn’t know what that meant. I thought it was interesting. I’d like to know a little bit more about that.
And Sherry, under what circumstances would she say that to you?
I don’t know. If you was doubting to do something or you just didn’t want to do something that she wanted you to do and she would say something like that.
So the expression again is if ifs and ands were pots and pans, a tinker would have no trade?
That’s what she’d say, yes.
And Sherry, what’s your understanding of what a tinker is?
It’s something that would go from town to town, you know, back in the old days and fix things and sell things to people. Like maybe like a traveling wagon or so, something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Since the 13th century or so, the word tinker is referred to a kind of itinerant craftsman who goes from town to town, as you said. And usually is mending pots and pans or other metal utensils like that.
And the expression, if ifs and ands were pots and pans, a tinker would have no trade, versions of that appear in various sayings that are basically saying it’s not enough to wish for something. You have to make it happen.
For a long time, people would say, and you might be familiar with part of this, if wishes were horses and beggars could ride. If turnips were watches, I’d wear one by my side. If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there would be no work for tinkers. And in other words, the words just aren’t enough. If you’re just talking about pots and pans, then it doesn’t give a tinker any work.
That’s interesting, yes.
Yeah, another version is if ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d be no work for tinkers’ hands. And sometimes parents, if they were trying to get children to do some work, you know, wash the dishes or something, they might say if ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d surely be dishes to do, which sounds like that might have been more in your situation, right? Trying to get you to do something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sounds like it. Yeah, that’s interesting. Yes.
We talked on the show before about Dandy Don Meredith, the sportscaster who used to say, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a Merry Christmas? Again, kind of wishful thinking.
I like that.
I like that one.
That’s funny.
Well, cool, Sherry. Thank you so much for your call. We really appreciate it.
Thank you.
I love your show.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Thank you for the segment on “if ifs and ands”. I had only known the first verse and learned it as “If wishes were horses, we’d all ride to the fair”. Have you encountered the other rhyme I remember along that line: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a great Christmas?
Thanks again, Linda Bugg