Lorraine in Syracuse, New York, asks for tips for breaking the habit of saying You know. These linguistic self-interruptions are called disfluencies. You’ll improve your speaking by making sure you know your topic well and are clear about what you wish to say. Also, don’t be afraid to pause and take a breath. Especially when we’re nervous, we feel compelled to fill every silence, and that’s simply not necessary. In the art world, a similar compulsion to fill in every gap is called horror vacui, or “fear of empty spaces.” This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Is There, Umm, A Way to, Uh, Stop, Umm, Saying, You Know, Filler Words?”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hello, this is Lorraine from Syracuse, New York.
Hey, Lorraine, welcome to the show. What can we do for you?
Well, thank you. I, you know, I’ve been trying to break the habit myself of saying, you know, constantly.
Now, I, it’s a particular problem I have, but I’ve noticed it often with many other folks, too.
I was listening to an Ivy League professor speaking for half an hour on a radio show, and I counted 17 times that you know was used.
So if you have any suggestions about how I can stop saying you know automatically, then that would be great.
Another, I’ll mention this too, I was concerned about the use of having said that.
These are many unnecessary phrases that we use quite often, having said that.
So do you have any suggestions about how to break the habit of many of these unnecessary phrases?
Well, the best way to stop these, and they’re called disfluencies, is to speak less.
That’s a great suggestion. I like that, but I just want to one thing I want to say to make you feel a little better is just know that everybody uses, everybody has these to one degree or another.
We have these crutches that we rely on, these things that we say when we don’t know quite what to say, these connectors maybe between thoughts that kind of fill the pause.
Yeah, and so just just relax a little bit and that will help a little bit, but the best advice I’ve seen from everyone can can be summarized in three main points.
One, be prepared by knowing your topic and what you’re going to say.
Two, don’t speak a thought until it is fully formed.
And three, use pauses like you use words because they’re just as important.
And if you have to hold the floor with filler words, then you don’t really know what you’re going to say.
So go back to point number one, which is be prepared by knowing your topic and what you’re going to say.
So a lot of it is really about even when it’s not a formal moment, even if it’s just a casual, you know, chat in the.
Grocery aisle just take a second just take a second. I think that that take a second.
Recommendation is a really good one. And it’s an interesting exercise because, as Grant says,
We all want to fill that space. In ancient art, it’s called horror vacuee, where every little
Bit of a surface is decorated with something. But you don’t have to do that. You know, you could…
Ha ha! Boop! There I go. I said, you know, you heard that.
Right. I think probably Toastmasters organization would have a little comment about that.
If a person trying to learn to give speeches said it too often, they would comment on that.
They absolutely would. Toastmasters can help you. It’s a supportive, helpful organization.
They have chapters of all sorts sponsored by companies or churches and other organizations.
And a lot of people find it to be really useful to go there and not say, oh, like I do.
Oh, well, I really appreciate your input.
I just love the show, and I love language, and I really enjoy the words we take from other languages and cultures.
And it’s just a terrific show.
Thank you very much.
Take care of yourself and call us again sometime.
Bye-bye.
Well, thank you.
Bye-bye.
Tell us how you solve the problem of disfluencies.
How do you avoid saying and and you know and right when you speak?
Email words@waywordradio.org.
