Hold a Candle

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hi, this is Tony Cardinilli from Indianapolis, Indiana.

Hello, Tony. Welcome to the program.

Hi.

My wife and I, we were listening to the program in the car and we had to thinking of all the different things that we didn’t know where they came from, the origins. And one of the ones we came up with was to hold a candle to someone.

Ooh.

Mm—

So, what was she saying, that you don’t hold a candle to her first husband?

Exactly, yeah.

Sorry.

Oh, and so then how did the conversation go, Tony?

Well, then it turned very ugly.

So which one ended up walking home? Did you end up walking home?

No, no, we worked it out.

Okay, good.

But that’s a great expression. Do you use that a lot? You don’t hold a candle to so-and-so or anything like that? This restaurant doesn’t hold a candle to the one down the street?

No, and I don’t use it that much. But for some reason I’d heard it in a song, I think, recently, and it came to mind.

So do you have any theories about it yourself?

I had one. I think it’s way off, though.

Oh, good. Let’s hear it.

I had heard that, you know, the first act at comedy clubs is usually not as seasoned, I suppose, as the headline act. But he sort of sits in the back and keeps track and makes sure everybody gets the time they need. And when their time is up, he sometimes flashes a light, or I heard that he holds a candle up. So maybe, like, you know, you’re not even as good as the first act.

Oh, really? Interesting.

Huh, why did you hear that? Did you just make that up out of whole cloth?

It’s kind of the opposite of flicking your bick, right, when you really like the show? And if you really hate it, what do you do? You turn out all the lights and walk out?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Well, it predates, as Martha knows, it predates the comedy club era by a long way.

Wait. Unless they had comedy clubs in the mid-16th century. They had brick walls. They had stools, right? They had glasses of water.

Definitely.

Oh, gosh. Yeah, this goes all the way back to at least the mid-16th century.

Now, picture this, Tony. You’re, say, a master cobbler, right? You’re really good at making shoes, and you’re working late. And Grant is your apprentice. And so you’re teaching him the ropes. You’re showing him how to make really good shoes.

Well, it’s dark and dingy in this shop. And for him to ply his trade, somebody’s got to hold a candle for him.

Literally hold a candle.

Yeah.

So you can hold it where you want it, right?

Yeah.

So, Tony, that’s going to be your apprentice, your subordinate, Grant Barrett, who’s holding the candle there so that you can see what you’re doing and you can show him how to do it.

And why weren’t the electric lights working? It was like that when I was helping my father as a boy fix the car or do whatever, right? It’s a dark space, and he’s like, point the light over here.

Yeah, right, right.

Right, so what do we say can’t hold a flashlight to? We don’t say that. We kept the old expression. So it means that you’re good for nothing but holding up a candle.

Basically, all you are is a candle stand.

Well, if you…

It’s like saying you…

I beg your pardon.

Well, no, if you can’t hold a candle, you’re not even as good as the…

You’re not even the apprentice.

You’re not even the apprentice.

That’s exactly right, Tony. What’s lower than an apprentice?

A candle holder.

Yeah, the person who just watches the candle holding.

Right, yeah.

Yeah.

So to hold a candle means that you’re not good enough even to be my apprentice.

Exactly.

Oh, that’s wonderful.

Exactly.

How nice that is.

Yeah, I think actually in that scenario, though, you were the apprentice.

Oh, yeah.

If I remember correctly.

Yes, of course.

Yes, Martha’s true feelings come out.

I did a little Googling while we were talking here. I find three popular songs that have to hold a candle to in the lyrics, one by The Pretenders, one by Morrissey, and one by Dolly Parton. So I don’t know which one you heard, but apparently it’s fairly likely that, I don’t know, you listen to a lot of Morrissey.

Yeah, Dolly Parton?

It was probably Dolly Parton, yes.

Okay, very good.

All right.

Well, hey, Tony, thanks for lighting up our life today.

Yeah, thank you.

All right, bye-bye.

All right, bye-bye.

Take care.

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