Godfather Word Game

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

And joining us on the line from New York City is our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hi, John.

Hi, Martha.

Hi, Grant.

What’s up, bud?

Well, I have a puzzle for you guys that has to do with a movie this week.

Oh.

A movie this week.

A movie, right.

Do you know the name Jack Waltz?

W-O-L-T-Z.

Jack Waltz.

Is that familiar to you?

Was he in Glorious Bastards?

No.

No?

Oh, you’re thinking of Christoph Waltz.

Yes, that’s what I’m thinking of.

He’s great, but no.

Jack Waltz is a film character.

In the classic film The Godfather, Jack Waltz was the studio executive who refused to cast Vito Corleone’s godson, Johnny Fontaine, in a movie that would revive his career.

Now, when Johnny asks his godfather if he can help, the Don says, I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Okay.

Right?

One of the most famous lines in movies.

In this puzzle, we’re going to take another look at that classic movie line.

Now, all writing is rewriting.

Suppose Mario Puzo went through a few versions of that line.

In one, Don Corleone offers to share his outlook on different issues of the day.

So he says, I’ll make him an offer to share my views.

It just rhymes.

So these are all going to rhyme?

Is that it?

Yes.

The first part is always the same.

I’ll make him an offer.

The second part will end with a rhyme of refuse.

Okay.

Let’s try.

We have to do the Corleone voice.

I would appreciate that, yes.

Gotcha.

In this version, the Don offers to take Waltz down to Mississippi and Louisiana to hear some melancholic music.

I’ll make him an offer to hear the blues.

Oh, good, good, good.

I’ll make him an offer to hear the blues.

That’s not a very good Corleone.

I’m sorry, Brandon.

That was excellent.

Please, at least as good as mine, that’s for sure.

In one version that’s perhaps a little too on the nose, the Don offers to hit him so hard it leaves a mark.

I’ll make him an offer that leaves a bruise.

Yes.

An offer that leaves a bruise.

Perhaps Waltz would be receptive to a six-day, seven-night stay on board a luxurious ship.

I’ll make him an offer to take a cruise.

Whatever.

Take a cruise.

That’s more like a Long Island mother.

I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Never write, never call.

Put the cigarette down and tell him to come on a cruise.

Now, Vito Corleone knew a lot of powerful people in Hollywood.

Maybe he could hook Waltz up with a famous aviator and director?

I’ll make him an offer with Howard Hughes.

To meet Howard Hughes. Very good.

That one could actually have worked.

It might.

If he’s in Hollywood, Waltz was probably a member of the Friars Club.

Perhaps Corleone could take care of any fees involved in such a thing?

I’ll make him an offer to pay his dues.

I think that would be a very nice gesture.

I’ve got to put the cotton padding in my cheeks to really get the voice right.

It helps.

Yeah, grab some tissues or something.

Now, a horse’s head is one thing, but suppose Corleone threatens to color the guy yellowish-green.

Making him offer to change his hues.

That’s pretty cool.

To make him chartreuse.

Oh, make him chartreuse.

To make him chartreuse, yes.

Of course, a fancy studio executive like him could probably be bribed by a fancy pair of loafers.

Make him an offer of a new pair of shoes.

A new pair of shoes.

Hopefully not concrete.

You guys were fantastic at this Corleone quiz.

Yeah, that’s it.

Okay.

Thanks, John.

Thanks, John.

Thank you, guys.

I’ll see you at the movies.

All right.

Bye.

877-929-9673.

Send all your words and language, thoughts, and questions to words@waywordradio.org.

Talk to us on Twitter under the handle Wayword.

W-A-Y-W-O-R-D, and join the really lively conversation at our Facebook group.