Funny Softball Team Names Puzzle

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it. I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette. And joining us now from New York City is our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hey, Grant and Martha. It’s me again.

Hey, buddy. How you doing?

You know, I work at the Museum of Mathematics.

Yes.

And we’ve just learned that the New York museums have a softball league.

Ooh.

Yeah, we just learned about this. So we’re gearing up for next year.

Now, of course, our primary focus at the Museum of Mathematics, MoMath, as we call it,

is finding out a great team name.

Apparently, the staff at the Whitney Museum

fields a team called the Houstons.

Yes.

Okay, okay.

The Whitney Houstons, yes.

And the Museum of Natural History has the Raptors

and stuff like that.

That’s perfectly right.

So now, I found that weekend sports teams

can be very clever with their names,

so I’ve tracked down some classic team names.

I’ll give you some clues,

and I’ll see if you can guess them, okay?

Okay, shoot.

Great.

Now, there are several great names by teams

in cities that begin with Santa.

Okay?

Now, there’s a great team name

for a team from Santa Anna

that references a character

made famous by comedian

Gilda Radner.

Care to take a swing at it?

It’s the Rosanna Rosanna Danas.

The Santa Anna Rosanna Danas, yes.

Wonderfully done,

Santa Anna Rosanna Danas.

What’s all this I hear?

How about a team in Santa Cruz

that references a piece

of military hardware?

Santa Cruz missiles?

The Santa Cruz missiles, yes.

How about a team in Santa Monica?

Sometimes they can be a little saucy, these team names.

I know where you’re going.

Yeah, we got it.

Okay.

Already you’ve got it.

I don’t even know.

I’ll just sit back.

The Santa Monica blue dresses.

Oh, you’re close.

A team in Santa Monica that references a 1990s scandal.

Yeah.

The Santa Monica Lewinsky’s.

The Santa Monica Lewinsky’s, yes.

Very good.

Here she’s doing very well.

Good for her.

Everyone should do well.

Now, some of the best names are for teams that are located in a state capital.

This is going to be the most trivial-wise of what we’re doing here, okay?

A team in the capital of Arkansas references a famous party song by the B-52s.

Little Rock Lobsters?

The Little Rock Lobsters, yeah.

Here they come.

How about a team in the capital of Montana that references a phrase meaning to deteriorate badly?

Mm—

Or to go badly.

It’s Helena, right?

Helena.

Handbaskets.

Yes, the hell in the handbaskets.

Again, not so much a softball or baseball or basketball name.

That’s really my favorite so far.

Yeah, we got to go with that.

Some teams are located in specific states, okay?

A team from a Great Lakes state references a 1970s funk band famous for Love Roller Coaster.

Ooh, wow.

Yeah.

Roller Coaster.

Oh, the Ohio Players.

The Ohio Players.

Oh, nice.

Makes perfect sense, yeah, in a lot of different ways.

The Ohio players, right.

All right, here are a few more.

These are for cities, okay, cities.

A team from a northwestern Pennsylvania city with the same name as a Great Lake

references a phrase meaning a strange synchronicity.

Eerie coincidences?

Yes, the eerie coincidences.

Nice.

How about a team from the largest city in Alabama,

named for a city in the United Kingdom,

that references a lunchtime treat on two pieces of bread.

Birmingham and rye?

Close.

Birmingham and cheese?

Birmingham sandwich.

The Birmingham sandwiches.

Birmingham sandwiches.

Yes, I don’t know how they can play softball while they’re laughing so hard.

Let’s get literary.

A team from an affluent beach community in northwestern Los Angeles references a character from the novel To Kill a Mockingbird.

Malibu Radleys.

The Malibu Radleys, yes.

Martha, you’re really good at this sports quiz here.

You’re doing very well.

I’m really good at absurd names, yeah.

Yeah.

Here’s the last one.

How about one from a Manhattan neighborhood?

A team located near Washington Square Park, which is near a former Bohemian enclave, references a term for a local fool.

A local Greenwich…

Yeah.

Village idiots.

The Greenwich Village idiots, yes.

Very good.

Anyway, that’s the sports quiz, guys.

We don’t often bring sports here, but it’s good to have some.

It’s as close as we want to come.

Thank you.

All right.

Thank you, John.

You guys are fantastic.

Great fun.

Very entertaining.

Really appreciate all the hard work.

Thank you, guys.

I appreciate it.

A plus plus and a gold star.

Thanks, John.

Thank you.

Home run.

Home run.

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