A woman whose first language is Persian wonders about the word enduring. Can she describe the work of being a parent as enduring? While the phrase is grammatically correct, the expression enduring parenting is not good idiomatic English. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “Enduring Word Choice”
Hello, you have A Way with Words.
Hi.
Hi, who’s this?
This is Ari Hanavar from San Diego, California.
Welcome, Ari. What can we do for you?
Well, I recently had an argument with my husband, who happens to be from New Jersey, and English is my second language. So he basically said that my usage of the word enduring in a written sentence was ESL, English as a second language. And I insisted that it wasn’t. What I was doing is that I was describing being a parent of a young child as enduring. And what my purpose was to show that having a young child is a never-ending work.
Well, it doesn’t have to be young. If you’re a parent of a child, you have to go through this never-ending process of raising a kid. So that was the argument.
So you were saying that your status as a parent is enduring? Like once they’re 18, then you still are looking after them?
What I was saying is that there are different adjectives to describe parenting. And sometimes it’s terrifying. It’s always enduring. It’s thrilling at times, and it’s rewarding sometimes, too. So that was the way that I was describing the process of being a parent.
Did you find it insulting when he called it ESL English?
Not anymore because we’ve had so many different arguments about usage of words. And, I mean, I make fun of him. He makes fun of me. So it’s all good.
Okay. I wouldn’t call it ESL English, but I would say that the meaning is not clear, the way that you’re using enduring. I think it’s grammatically allowed, but idiomatically awkward.
Okay. Did you mean never-ending or ongoing or?
Correct. The ongoing and never-ending part.
Never finished?
I even joked about it and I said being a parent is so enduring that they had to bend it into a verb, parenting. Being a parent is so enduring. I would almost want to say the status of being a parent. Enduring it to me is such a lofty word. We think of buildings as being enduring, our mountains as being enduring, love as being enduring, and enduring love is almost a phrase in its own.
Yeah. Enduring is not the right choice here, though.
No. What else would you slot in there? Can you think of some other synonyms that might work for you?
Yeah, the never-ending is the other way that I would describe it.
Yeah, never-ending sounds a little bit more idiomatic to me. In very casual English, I might say the job of being a parent is never finished. That sounds like what you’re saying.
Correct.
Well, Ari, I really like your attitude about being totally up for being wrong about speaking a foreign language because that is definitely the way we learn. I think enduring, it’s got such a poetic cast to me that I think that it’s a little bit more than what you need in this situation. I like your suggestion of never ending. I think that’s much better or never finished as Grant suggested.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks for calling.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
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