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I've sometimes seen and even used "their" to avoid saying "his", "her" or "his/her", for example: The user clicks the button with their computer mouse.
It's a grammatically ugly way of neutering whoever "user" is, completely sidestepping the question of whether to use "his" or "her" or "his/her". It still kind makes me cringe, even though I've used it myself. Has this kind of language abuse ever come close to being acceptable? Maybe in certain contexts?
Using "their" when the gender of a person is unknown is completely acceptable. Now, I know there are many people who disagree with me, but they do so because of aesthetic reasons, not grammatical ones. Like you, they may say it's "ugly." But English permits the use of "their" in this way and the usage neatly fills a previously unfilled role.
My complaint about "his/her" is that it's ugly and unnecessarily long. The slash is a ruinous bit of punctuation that draws the eye to a place that is no more important than any other. The other ways of doing it—"his or her" or "himself or herself"—are a little less awkward, but still too long when the perfectly good "their" or "theirself" will do.
Two articles in support of my opinion:
http://www.crossmyt.com/hc/linghebr/austheir.html
http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001582.html
Excellent. I was hoping to get a reason to use that instead of the awkward and longer “his/her†and “his or herâ€. Thank you. So grammatically there is no problem there? I thought that using “user†in the single together with “their†in the plural was a no-no (just found it in Strunk and White after reading the second article you link to there). I agree with your complaint about the his/her, just curious about the grammar rules.
The "singular they" is getting more and more widely accepted. Even though I dislike it without reservation, it'll probably prevail. It is ugly but I propose that a more careful look at the language can clarify things somewhat.
To begin with, I feel our language doesn't have genuine rulesof grammar oe much else. It has general patterns of use, but that's all. Good usage constitutes usage that observes those patterns -- but those patterns as observed by the most skilled and careful users of the language.
In our search for simplicity and consistency, we've tried to codify this usage. Certainly not a bad idea, but we're required -- by reason -- to concede that the patterns themselves aren't always simple or consistent.
Teaching youngsters about the language calls on us to codify these patterns -- and, thereby, to fall into trap after trap. Disputes are almost certain to continue as our language continues to benefit (or suffer?) from our efforts at improvement. And probably every writer, whether he(!) likes it or not, will get tripped up now and again. We'll benefit, however, from recognizing that pontification isn't particularly useful. ---ed
The thing is that pure mathematical logic doesn't really apply to language. If you try to make it that way, you end up with stupid rules that no one can remember. If using 'their' impeded understanding, then it would be one thing. But it doesn't. I thought of that with this line from an old version "Harry the Dirty Dog" which I read recently with my kids:
"Everyone shook his head and said, "oh no, it couldn't be Harry.""
The picture showed the whole family (mom, dad, brother, sister), not just one person, and the use of "his" struck me as distinctly odd. (Interesting, I just looked up the book on Amazon, and they've revised it to "everyone shook their heads and said, "Oh no, it couldn't be Harry.")
My daughter (who's 4) calls me out on this too. If we're driving and I complain about another driver using "he", she'll always ask me "how do you know it's a boy?" If I use "they" she doesn't ask that. "Their" has the advantage (to my ears) of sounding more natural, and of being more inclusive.
I have changed my view on this, and enjoy the freedom the singular their gives.
BUT, what still irks me to no end is when the gender of the person is known, but the speaker still uses "their". Things like: "A mother should always know where their children are". It's crazy, but I hear this sort of thing all the time. I will keep listening to see if I hear a difference between "they/their/etc." used with known males and known females...
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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