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Cops Talk Funny. What happens to police officers when they take the stand? I've been working with cops on the stand for over twenty years - first as a prosecutor and now as a national trainer on how to be an effective witness. From recruits in academies to senior officers and command staff, you talk funny when you take the stand. Is it in the water at the academies; is there a secret society where you're taught this special language?
That's odd. My brother, who isn't an officer or in the legal field, talks like that. I call it 'talking official' as if he is dictating a company memo to his family.
If I was to ask him if he would like to come over for dinner and he couldn't, his reply would be: "I am sorry I am unable to come to your house for dinner due to the circumstances in the household at hand." Huh? You got something going on at home? Is that what you mean to say. Mind you, he TALKS this way.
Be very, very glad that cops don't talk on the witness stand the way they speak to each other. Here are a couple of bits of cop-slang that I've heard used:
Cause of accident was another FUWD
translation: (1st 2 words to your imagination) Woman Driver
We had complaints of a stinkie at such and such address
translation: Very ripe body discovered when neighbours complained of the odor
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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