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The March 6th show ("The Green-Eyed Monster") had a caller asking for a kinder term for an ex-wife's new husband who is also a friend. A similar situation exists for kids who love a non-biological parent.
Let's take the second case first: My father divorced and then married a wonderful woman my sister and I completely love and who dearly loves us, and we found calling her our "step mom" raised too many negative connotations. My sister came up with the phrase "Bonus Mom" that precisely defines our relationship with someone we love as an additional mother.
As for the first case, I had a friend who stayed friends with his ex-wife, and she married a man who also became his friend. These men would introduce each other as "my Husband by Proxy", which was always a great conversation starter.
Any others?
There was mention during the show of people who divorce but then go back and live with each other again later. My brother divorced his wife, and then (for reasons that at the time involved being able to have more say in the way their kids were raised) re-married her. I've never actually called my sister-in-law his "re-wife" to her face, but it seems to fit the situation.
Legal mattiage is getting to be the exception than the rule. For the better part of a decade, there have been more kids in the US born to unmarried women under 30 than to married women under 30.
The legal term for a child born to a woman not married to the father is bastard, and bastardy affects inheritance rights in some states. Nobody uses the term any more, though, except as a synonym for "jerk".
So why worry about definitions thyat depend on irrelevant legal status? When a kid cries out in anger, "You're not my dad", the proper response is to say "You can have as many dads as you have room in your heart for". Those aren't re-wives and proxy husbands, those are really wives and husbands, and anyone who thinks a marriage license is a sex permit doesn't really appreciate the marriage partnership.
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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