Colbertism Word Game

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

And joining us now is our quiz guide, John Chaneski.

Hi, John.

John!

Hi, Grant.

Hi, Martha.

What’s up, buddy?

Stephen Colbert is at it again. After the whole truthiness thing, he thinks he can call the shots when it comes to the dictionary. Now, he’s changed report to rapport. And now he’s dropping the T off any word ending in R-T. Luckily, they still make valid dictionary entries.

Okay. That’s my premise. I feel a puzzle coming on.

Yeah. For example, if he’s telling an anecdote and he feels like he’s being too long-winded, he’ll say what? To make a long story show. To make a long story sure.

Sure. All right. Sure. It’s just the T. The T sound is dropped. Just the T, not the R-T.

Okay. No, right. Just the T. Okay. It’s annoying, but it’s a puzzle.

Hey, like usual. That’s right. Let’s see if we can get some more. I mean, some more.

Okay. Colbert got angry at his neighbor for hitting him with a baseball, and he threatened legal action, saying what? I’m going to take you to CORE. I’ll take you to CORE. I’ll see you in CORE. And file a TOR, right?

Yeah. That was question number two.

Oh, okay. Yes. Not a crime. His neighbor’s action harmed the comedian, and he was held legally responsible, or as Stephen calls it, a TOR.

Very good. Instead of a tort. Colbert has built his son a little arboreal clubhouse of his own in the backyard. He calls it what? A four. Instead of a fort. A tree four.

Very good. Now, Colbert is actually a great dad. Whenever his son loses a baseball game, he tells him to congratulate the other guy, saying what? Good spore. Be a good spore.

Very nice. Of course, after a long day conservativizing, Colbert likes to go home and decant a nice bottle of sweet, red, fortified wine, or as he calls it… A good pour.

A good pour, yes. Oh, I like to go to bars with good pours.

That’s right. Now, when Colbert puts together his monthly fan club e-newsletter, he wants to make sure it’s visually appealing. But he doesn’t want to spend any money, of course, so he uses free images he finds on the web, or as he calls them… Clip-ar.

Clip-ar. Clip R. Pirate Clip R. Colbert often has to explain some complicated political or economic processes to his staff, so he prefers to use a series of boxes and arrows, which he calls what? A flow char.

A flow char. Exactly. I told Colbert my daughter was going to dress as a witch for Halloween, and he suggested they use rubber cement to make a hairy lump on her chin, which he called what? A war.

A war. You got a little war on your chin there. I offered Colbert a lemonade. He refused, saying he doesn’t like things that taste… Tar.

Tar. Tar. Tart. And those are my Colbert rapport words.

Nice work, you guys. That was great.

Thank you. I tried to be a good spore the whole time.

Thanks, John. Really appreciate it. We’ll talk to you next week, all right?

Thank you, guys. See you then. Bye-bye.

You can find all of John’s quizzes and all of our back episodes on our website at Waywordradio.org.