Cat-Lover Brain Teaser

You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.

I’m Grant Barrett.

And I’m Martha Barnette.

And joining us now is our quiz guy, John Chaneski.

Hello, John.

Hey, Martha.

Hey, Grant.

Hey, bud.

What’s up?

We have done quizzes, all sorts of quizzes here.

We’ve done quizzes about monkeys, bees, dogs, all sorts of animals.

I thought maybe it was time to do one about cats.

Now, I don’t particularly care for cats, but that’s okay because cats don’t particularly care for me.

Oh.

Because I’m not a cardboard box.

Anyway, I’ll give you a snarky feline clue to a word that starts with C-A-T.

You give me the word.

For example, you know, cats are really stuck in the 20th century.

They don’t even order merchandise from websites.

They get their clothes from where?

Catalogs?

Yeah, catalog.

Right.

Yeah.

Now, here are more, unfortunately.

When cats visit Paris, they pretty much only like to hang out in what famous underground landmark?

The catacombs.

The catacombs, right.

Because they eschew the beach, they prefer the mountains.

In the summers, they go to resorts in what area of the Appalachians in southern New York State?

Catskills.

The Catskills, yeah.

That’s why they like the movie Dirty Dancing, too.

Oh, and did I mention cats do like movies?

Of course they do.

They really like Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Gremlins because they’re part of what actor’s filmography?

Phoebe Cates.

Phoebe Cates, yes.

Oh, tricky.

She’s married to Kevin Kline.

The cats hate him.

Now, perhaps my being anathema to cats is because I’m allergic to them, maybe.

Or maybe they’ve inspired in me a medical condition in which my nose and throat are blocked with mucus.

What is that again?

Katar.

Katar.

Of course, the Egyptians, they worship cats.

Kind of redundant since cats worship themselves.

I’m sure they would build themselves what kind of large church if they had opposable thumbs?

Cathedral.

A cathedral, right.

Maybe they should build a cathedral and study up on religion.

They have all that free time lying around.

They could read up on religious doctrine in the form of questions and answers.

What do we call that again?

Catechism.

Catechism, yeah.

I spent my time learning catechisms.

Have you ever seen the musical Cats?

No.

Cats love theater mostly because many theaters have raised platforms way up in the rafters that they can get around on.

You know what those are?

Catwalks.

Of course, catwalks.

And oh, those cats are tricky too.

Once you think you finally have their meow language figured out,

They go and switch to a romance language used in eastern Spain.

Catalan.

Catalan.

Ells got son furtivement.

I guess that’s how you pronounce it.

Anyway, yes, Catalan, very good.

You guys did fantastic on your cat quiz.

Do you really dislike cats?

No, I don’t dislike cats.

Yeah, John, let’s talk about this.

Is this just a conceit for the quiz?

No, it’s a conceit to make the quiz interesting.

You’re actually an illurophile.

I’m going to lure a file, yes.

You like kitties.

Okay, good.

I would have a cat if I could.

I will.

Because just clarifying this is stopping a lot of angry letters.

A lot of angry letters.

No letters.

No, no.

Cats are great.

Cats are really cool.

They’re very independent.

Thank you.

They drive themselves to work.

It’s wonderful.

Thank you for the quiz.

It was not a catastrophe.

I think we all did well.

Thanks, guys.

See you next time.

Bye, John.

Well, we’d love to catalog your questions about language, 877-929-9673.

And if it’s a catalyst to get you to write, you can put as much as you want in an email to words@waywordradio.org.