can count on no hands v. phr. to be able to arrive at a total of only zero. (source: Double-Tongued Dictionary)
Further reading
Rosalind from Montgomery, Alabama, says her mother used to scold her for acting like a starnadle fool. The more common version of this term is starnated fool, a term that appears particular to Black English, and appears in the work of such writers...
In parts of Appalachia, the expression give someone down the road means “to reprimand” someone or “tell someone to get lost.” In Ireland, to give someone down the banks has a somewhat similar meaning, apparently referring to...