Between You and I Versus Between You and Me

Hello, you have A Way with Words.

Hello, this is Ethley from Los Angeles.

Ethley, that’s a lovely name.

Thank you. I’m calling you today from Galveston, Texas, just for a change of day.

My question today is actually it’s more of a peeve.

I have been noticing more and more, and now I’m even starting to notice it among newscasters, and although screenwriters of all people should know better in dialogue on television shows, that people are using between you and I instead of between you and me, which, you know, it would be, you know, it’s an object. It should be in the objective case, but somehow the I sounds more proper. I don’t know.

I’m just terrified that this is going to slide into acceptable usage, and I wanted your support on my ire.

Ethelie, you have it. We feel your pain.

Yeah, you know, they should ban books that use that, I think.

Really, you know, because Martha knows what I’m about to say, actually.

Then that would mean that they’re banning Shakespeare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because he does that in Merchant of Venice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But come on, Greg. Antonio writes to Bassanio, and he says, all deaths are cleared between you and I if I must but see you at my death.

I’m just telling you, I mean, it’s old. The question is, was Shakespeare attempting then to portray this character as being subliterate?

Well, no, because it’s a letter about, it’s a very serious moment in Merchant. It’s, no, not at all. He didn’t have to characterize them through their writing at that point because it’s all set already and there’s no room there to, no, not at all. I don’t think so.

But, Ethley, Grant has a way of going around and finding all these exceptions to the rule. And the rule is, as you stated, it should be between you and me.

I won’t deny that the Barnette and Barrett safe bet, if we can patent that term, the Barnette and Barrett safe bet is to stick to between you and me.

Right.

Right.

Pay attention to that preposition, though, because we’re only talking about that whole phrase between you and me. Because there are other occasions where you might use you and I that is perfectly acceptable. And I think that’s where people get confused is because they remember that there’s something about me that’s to be avoided. So they go with I thinking it’s the safe choice, and it isn’t, and I think that’s what happens here.

And so the second part of my worry is this going to become so common, it’s going to start being an acceptable alternative.

It is already. It is already.

No, no, no, no.

Even Brian Garner says it’s to be avoided. He doesn’t even come out, and he’s very conservative. He does not come out against it.

Right, the linguistic authority, Brian Garner.

Yeah, see, well, but Grant, I mean, we know what the rule is. A preposition takes an object, right?

Yes, it does.

And so all you have to do—

And the problem here is that people are using the nominative form instead of the objective, right?

Exactly right.

It’s the grammatical equivalent of spinach between your teeth.

It’s the grammatical equivalent, isn’t it, Ethley?

I think we’re lining up on gender lines here, Martha. I think it’s you and me against Grant, and we outnumber him.

Do you think—

I have three sisters. I know how to fight the ladies.

I think Grant has toilet paper trailing from his grammatical shoe.

You know, this isn’t rocket surgery. It’s not brain science. Just mentally, if your mind can work that quickly, Grant, all you have to do is put the preposition mentally in front of each of those, and you’ll never go wrong.

Do you know how to get sugar out of your gas tank, Martha? Because you’re about to learn.

Well, Ethelie, do you feel better at least now that you’ve called a peeve?

I’m glad that you’re on my side, Martha.

To the ramparts, Ethelie.

There we go. It’s what you call the nuclear option, as it were.

Oh, Lord of mercy. You get to explode when people are saying nuclear. That’s brilliant.

You even have difficulty saying it the wrong way. That shows you how correct your speech is.

You got me. Good for you.

Ethley, this has been great fun. Thanks for calling.

Hey, thanks so much for bearing the standard for all of us. Enjoy.

Hang in there, Ethley.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

If you’d like to get in an argument with either one of us, the number to call is 1-877-929-9673.

I thought you were going to say if you’d like to get into an argument with I.