Pam in Eureka, California, says that when her mother and grandmother would enter a particularly dark room, they’d remark that it was dark as the inside of a goat. Mark Twain used the phrase dark as the inside of a cow in his book Roughing It as well as The Innocents Abroad. Other versions: dark as the inside of a whale, cat, black cat, a sack, a horse, a magician’s hat, a coal scuttle, the Devil’s waistcoat pocket, and as the inside of a needle. Joyce Cary wrote about something being as dark as the inside of a cabinet minister, and Groucho Marx also had something to say about the inside of a dog. This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “As Dark as the Inside of A…”
Hello, welcome to A Way with Words.
This is Pam Service in Eureka, California.
Hi, Pam. Welcome to the show.
My mother and grandmother, when they would go into a dark room or it was really dark at night, they would say it was as dark as the inside of a goat. And that struck me as rather odd because presumably neither lady had ever been inside a goat. But I just considered, well, maybe it was just some little family weirdity.
But then I read an historic novel set in New Orleans in like the early 19th century, and there was a character in the story that said something was as dark as the inside of a cow. And I thought, well, this is really weird. Where are these people coming with this idea of inside of large ruminants? There should be in darkness. I wondered about it for years and finally decided, well, you’re the guys that would know, so I’d just give you a call and see what you say.
You know what, Pam? Neither of us has been inside of a ruminant.
No.
You thought we would know. Although it reminds me of the Groucho Marx quote. Do you know that one?
No. Which one?
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Oh, right. Yeah, you’re absolutely right. Inside a goat, too. Right.
So you were saying that you read the dark is the inside of a cow phrase in a book from the early 19th century?
Well, no, it was a historic novel set in the early 19th century in New Orleans.
Oh, okay.
And some character says this about, you know, the inside of a cow, and that’s really very like what Mom and Grandma used to say.
Yeah, well, it goes back even farther than that. Dark as the inside of a cow has been around since at least Mark Twain.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he used that phrase in Roughing It in 1871. And in Innocence Abroad.
-huh.
Yeah.
And you can sort of infer what the idea is. I mean, if you’re in there with no light bulbs, it’s going to be really dark, right? And there are lots of different variations of it.
I haven’t heard the inside of a goat one before. Have you, Grant?
No, but I’ve heard whale. But there are lots of other ones, like inside of a whale, inside of a cat, inside of a black cat, inside of a sack, inside of a needle. Joyce Carey wrote about something as dark as the inside of a cabinet minister, which I really like.
I don’t want to be in there either, no.
I’ve seen a few magician’s hat, coal scuttle, the devil’s waistcoat pocket.
Wow.
A little dark.
But goat?
You haven’t heard goat?
Goat, I don’t know that one, no.
So that may be a family weirdity.
I like that word, weirdity. Weirdity may be a family weirdity as well. I’m not sure.
Well, is there any kind of regional thing about it? I know that my mother’s family, some of it came from the South. I don’t know my genealogy very well.
I’m not aware of it being regional. It’s not regional. It’s across all of the English-speaking world. You’ll find it popping up anywhere English has spoken over the last 200-plus years. Varieties of dark as the inside of an X.
Well, maybe my relatives couldn’t afford cows, so they just had goats.
Goats are great. I like goats.
Pam, thank you for sharing this family phrase. I’ll keep my eyes open and see if what other animals have had their interiors invaded by this phrase.
Yeah, let us know if you hear of any more, okay?
Okay. Bye.
