Quiz Guy John Chaneski has a game built on the lyrical pattern of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” with clues like, “Mr. Tyson, even a boxer like you shouldn’t have a problem finding a 3-wheeled ride out of here.” This is part of a complete episode.
Transcript of “50 Ways to Leave Word Quiz”
You’re listening to A Way with Words, the show about language and how we use it.
I’m Martha Barnette.
And I’m Grant Barrett.
And on the line is John Chaneski, our quiz guy.
Hello, John.
Hi, Grant.
Hi, Martha.
Hey, John.
What’s up?
Well, I have a nice little puzzle for you. I think you’ll like this one. It’s pretty fun.
In the song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, Paul Simon lays out a few words of advice for those looking to end a relationship. Now, I don’t know if a trained counselor would recommend any of his suggestions, but I do know that he doesn’t even come close to 50. He’s got like five.
There’s like five there, yeah.
So I’m going to pick up where he left off. Here are some more ways to leave your lover. Just like Paul does, I’ll be addressing a particular person for each way, and I’ll give you a clue to the person that is the name, and then a clue to the method. And you have to give me the lyric just kind of like it is in the song, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Let’s see how this goes.
For example, if I said, oh, Mr. Tyson, even a boxer like you should have no trouble finding a three-wheeled, human-powered vehicle on which to make your exit, the answer would be…
Leave on a trike, Mike.
Yeah, hop on a trike, Mike, or leave on a trike, Mike.
Very good.
So that’s how it’s going to work.
Okay.
Ready to try?
Yeah, sure.
Let’s go.
Okay.
Just like the song, some of these are forms of transportation, and some of these are just things you do to sort of break it off at someone.
Okay.
Oh, Ms. Lynch, a successful comic actress and game show host like you certainly has enough cash to flee the scene on a 747.
Get on the plane, Jane.
That’s very good.
Okay.
Nice. Good pitch, too.
Oh, Mr. Vicious, no one would expect a punk rocker to go into isolation by adopting a lifestyle that involves total self-sufficiency without using electricity or other public utilities.
Get off the grid, Sid.
Off the grid, Sid.
That’s one way to do it.
Oh, Mr. Giamatti, one of the most popular ways for actors like you to cut ties with their ex is to produce a book that reveals every dirty detail of the relationship.
Right a tell-all, Paul.
Right a tell-all, Paul.
Very nice, Martha.
Oh, Mr. Cronkite, it’s not very classy, but you can do what others have done, just not show up at the church on your wedding day.
Leave her at the altar, Walter.
Oh, Mr. Leotta, if you’re too lazy to walk away, you can just get one of these things that the security guards at the mall use.
Get a Segway, Ray.
Hop on a Segway, Ray.
Oh, man.
Oh, Ms. Orman, surely a financial whiz like you has enough set aside to book a four or five night trip to the Bahamas on a well-appointed ship.
Take a cruise, Suze.
Take a cruise, Suze.
Oh, Mr. Nicholson, no doubt a famous actor like you knows that a relationship can end like a movie, slowly becoming darker and darker.
Fade black, Jack.
Martha, we’ve really found your…
My niche. What can I say?
Your niche right here.
Giving people musical advice.
Finally, oh, Ms. Derek, the simplest way is just to rise from your chair and exit.
Just go, Bo.
Get up and go, Bo.
Get up and go, Bo.
Very good.
So there are seven ways to leave your lover, or ten ways, or nine ways to leave your lover.
Good luck, you guys.
Great stuff, John.
Thanks, John.
We’ll talk to you next week.
You’re welcome.
Talk to you then.
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