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2 questions:In a show I just listened to, Grant said that it is common for males of many cultures to call each other by their last names, and that this is uncommon in females. I was wondering if the male phenomenon occurs in cultures in which women keep their own last names when they marry. Is their a word for language usage that is culturally specific?
The sorority link doesn't surprise me. I think of that section of the population being very competitive socially and the last name only practice is also used in sports and the military- two other competitive groups. The only exposure to this that I've had in my life was growing up in the boy scouts which, strangely, was a socially competitive experience for a lot of the guys who were trying to 'fit in.' I think the last name only practice is a little de-humanizing to the person and poises the user in a superior position socially, even if very subtly.
This comment relates my experience growing up. I recall first being called Redd when I was about 10 by an adult (not a peer). It seemed to me to be part of growing up and a small right of passage. It identified me with my family and father.
I speculate that it might be associated with a common practice of inferiors being called by their first names. For example, teachers are called by title and name (Mrs. Smith) while she calls a student by his first name (Jimmy): in 19th century Britian, the butler, Jeeves, called his employer, Mr. Blair: or, in the Antebellum South, slave Tom called his owner, Master Jefferson.
The missing titles among young males may be due to not granting higher status to one's peers. Informality might also require it.
All of the above deals only with males, but Antebellum South may also illustrate a difference for females. In Gone With the Wind, I believe the slaves addressed their mistress as Miss Scarlet.
Possibly related are offensive words which signify or indicate inferiority. 'Boy' is offensive to the black man and 'Girl' is offensive to the feminist.
Emmett "my friends get to call me Dr. Redd no more than once" Redd
So, between my Russian studies and a present fixation on early nineteenth century literature, I was beginning to wonder if the use of surnames wasn't just a simplification, distinguishing among the veritable flood of Johns, Edwards, Williams, Johns, and Johns in the world. There is a similar phenomenon in Russia where one feels as though there is an exclusive list of 7-10 “Christian names” parents can choose to give their babies. (On a side note, I think Italy really has such a list of “legal names,” though it includes more Marks and Michaels and throws in some saints along with the Biblical cast and crew)
Of course, if this were the case, all the Maries and Annes in France would be employing the same tactic–
There is a fascinating passage in Jane Austen's Emma (1816) that describes Mr. Elton's new wife repeatedly referring to her husband's friend as merely “Knightley,” rather than “Mr. Knightley.” Emma, who views herself the superior in class and manner, is horrified at the presumption of this intimacy and the absolute impropriety of a woman referring to a man in such a way.
While this anecdote is colored by the comedy of manners and parade of honorifics that rule Jane Austen's England, it led me to reflect that regardless of whether both males and females do use this informal means of address, the practice can't seem to cross gender boundaries without calling the gentility of the speaker into question.
Even on coed sports teams where men and women might address each other by surnames, it seems self-consciously transgressive, at least from the outside. I do wonder if my view isn't culturally biased, but it seems an attempt to masculinize a group. While men could comfortably and warmly go on referring to one another by their last names at a dinner following the night's game without reproach, would they still be able to address their female teammates politely as such off the field?
Are there mixed-sex groups that use surnames without that self-consciousness?
>>>Are there mixed-sex groups that use surnames without that self-consciousness?
All good points, Joie. I can't think of a single mixed-sex group using surnames without self-consciousness. (Although it'd seem somehow more likely that if anyone in that group were addressed in such a way, it'd be the males, no?)
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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