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A Way with Words, a radio show and podcast about language and linguistics.

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Puns Please
Guest
1
2015/06/14 - 12:03pm

Question: What would you serve a baseball player for desert?

Answer: Bunt Cake

 

If you know of any more of these would you please post yours?  I want some of these to use to entertain  people at our support group’s  for the blind fourth of July party.

 

Thank you very much.

Ron Draney
721 Posts
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2
2015/06/14 - 10:40pm

I've been thinking of writing a book about Jason, the killer in the Friday the 13th movies, with the premise that he's really not such a bad guy after all.

I'm going to call it Voorhees: A Jolly Good Fellow.

(Remember, you asked.)

Guest
3
2015/06/15 - 5:37am

Do you want puns of all types, or specifically the occuplational riddles of the type you sent as an example.

Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue

I think that Martha tortured Grant -- much to our delight -- with several of these in one broadcast / podcast, but I don't recall which one.

deaconB
744 Posts
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4
2015/06/15 - 9:25am

LeDon said 
If you know of any more of these would you please post yours?  I want some of these to use to entertain  people at our support group’s  for the blind fourth of July party.

Interesting.  How common is is for holidays to develop vision problems?

 

I realize that's not actually a pun, but it is an incredibly low form of humor.

Guest
5
2015/06/15 - 4:06pm

Q: How did the shoemaker finish in the marathon?
A: Last

Q: What did the mail carrier say when her daughter asked if her friend could come for dinner?
A: "Letter."

Q: Why was the artist more productive if he ignored the first four canvases he set up?
A: Because he could paint more Easel E.

Guest
6
2015/06/15 - 6:42pm

Why was Cinderella dropped from the basketball team?

Because she ran from the ball.

Guest
7
2015/06/15 - 11:56pm

Puns are almost by definition  tortuously  lame.   My suggestion for your party, LeDon, is to vote to give prizes to the dullest  puns you  ever heard.

Guest
8
2015/06/18 - 9:21pm

"Lame" is a matter of opinion. Those of us who love puns don't find them lame at all. Lots of people love basketball; I think it's a waste of time. Matter of opinion.

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
(Offline)
9
2015/06/29 - 6:06am

You have probably heard of sisters, Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg. Since Ura is the prettier one, Ivan A. Foxx decided to date her. However, Ima did catch her man: I. M. Sansjuan.

deaconB
744 Posts
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10
2015/06/29 - 10:11am

EmmettRedd said
You have probably heard of sisters, Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg. Since Ura is the prettier one, Ivan A. Foxx decided to date her. However, Ima did catch her man: I. M. Sansjuan.

You may have *heard* of the sisters, but you heard wrong.  Ima Hogg, daughter of Texas governor "Big Jim" Hogg, had no sisters, only younger brohers.  She was a petite blue-eyed strawberry blonde, elegant and refined, a concert pianist, art collector and quite the philanthropist. 

Katie
5 Posts
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11
2015/07/03 - 10:46am

This should be helpful!

https://waywordradio.org/?s=puns 

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
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12
2015/07/03 - 2:42pm

deaconB said

EmmettRedd said
You have probably heard of sisters, Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg. Since Ura is the prettier one, Ivan A. Foxx decided to date her. However, Ima did catch her man: I. M. Sansjuan.

You may have *heard* of the sisters, but you heard wrong.  Ima Hogg, daughter of Texas governor "Big Jim" Hogg, had no sisters, only younger brohers.  She was a petite blue-eyed strawberry blonde, elegant and refined, a concert pianist, art collector and quite the philanthropist. 

Do we really want the facts to get in the way of a (good?) story?wink

deaconB
744 Posts
(Offline)
13
2015/07/03 - 4:02pm

EmmettRedd said

Do we really want the facts to get in the way of a (good?) story?wink

What astounds me is not that there was a Governor Hogg of Texas (obviously inspiring the one from Hazard County, Kentucky), but that he would have a daughter named Ima, but that dissatisfied people would find it necessary to conflate hat story by adding a sister, Ura.  The KansasCity Star even invented a third sister, Hoosa. 

Mark Twain said once that on a certain newspaper, he reported every fire in town, and on a slow news week, would start a few.  It seems to me that Ameroica's Greatest Writer would only disapprove of the fact that he died too early to start this story.

Guest
14
2015/07/10 - 10:41am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see a man lay bricks!

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
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15
2015/07/10 - 11:15am

mzkathnv said

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see a man lay bricks!

Following is the absolute true answer to the question:

"Because it was too far to go around."

Robert
553 Posts
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16
2015/07/11 - 11:19pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Weird'ere, her chick an' crower a-ogle !

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
(Offline)
17
2015/08/09 - 2:13pm

Here is a pun/riddle I heard (it does not work in print) today:

There were thirty cows and twenty ate chickens. How many did not?

deaconB
744 Posts
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18
2015/08/09 - 6:00pm

Thirty. But if he had thirty sows and twenty eight chickens, then ten didn't.

Cattle can't eat chicken.  They haven't the teeth for it.  It a cow was to chew on your fingers, it would just tickle as she gums you. 

EmmettRedd
859 Posts
(Offline)
19
2015/08/23 - 3:19am

I was following a 4000 to 6000 gallon bulk milk truck yesterday that had on the back,

All I own...
I owe to udders....

Guest
20
2015/08/23 - 3:27am

And when the driver started back to the dairy farm he turned coward.

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