Discussion Forum—A Way with Words, a fun radio show and podcast about language

I think the word lazy might fit nicely, but you're looking for something more subtle? People who hate to wash dishes are far too common to be a phenomenon. Dishphobia doesn't work because she's not afraid of dishes; I'm sure she had no problem eating the food on those same terrifying dishes.

Maybe we can help you find a better word if you give us more personal information. How do the two of you handle the cooking/cleaning part of your relationship? If she cooks, who cleans? And if you cook, who cleans? Hoosier, if you do all of the cooking and she expects you to do all of the cleaning as well, telling you stories about her dishphobia, I think it's time for you to find a new girlfriend rather than a new word!

So unkind, ChevyCar! As Forrest Gump would say, “Stupid is as stupid does,” and also, “Lazy is as lazy does.” Anyway, I was being humorous.

Hoosier said that his girlfriend has a great distaste for washing dishes, not that she suffers from any specific fear. She probably does not have a fear of dishes, as the word “dishphobia” would imply. That is why I asked him for more personal information, so we can help him find the perfect word. But I think I can safely say that the vast majority of people who have a “great distaste” for washing dishes are really just covering for a bit of common laziness. Hey, when it comes to washing dishes, I am just as lazy as anyone!

Even if someone does have a fear of washing dirty dishes, we'd have to know more about the specific fear in order to name it. It could relate to a fear of messes, or of disorder, or of germs, or of slime, or of detergent and hot water causing “dishpan hands,” or of damaged fingernails, or of breaking dishes, or of the garbage disposal in the sink, or of the chlorine in the water, or of the possibility of criticism if the dishes are not cleaned just so, etc.

Your case sounds interesting. It seems that it is not the washing of dirty dishes that triggers your response, but just the mere sight of a dirty dish. Are you completely comfortable looking at plates of food that haven't been eaten from? What happens if you mix the peas with the mashed potatoes, or pour gravy on everything? How does your mind distinguish between a “dirty” dish and a disorganized or partly eaten plate of food?

I can tell you that while I'm perfectly okay with mixing up meatloaf with my bare hands, which is slimy and messy as can be, I am decidedly uncomfortable putting my hand into the kitchen garbage bin if I have to fish for something that's dropped in there. That makes me want to gag, too, even though I know it feels the same as the meatloaf (or the inside of a pumpkin).