Discussion Forum—A Way with Words, a fun radio show and podcast about language

The poem is mentioned on a just-posted episode "Buckle Down" but the link (to "The Age of Slang") takes you to a different selection, in prose, called "The Age of Slang", in the March 1880 Elocutionist's Journal. So I took a line that Grant read ("we didn't speak of them galoots") googled that, and found the poem in the September 1878 edition of that same journal. Actaully it occurs twice, once as "The Age of Slang" and once as "Grandpa's Soliloquy". Neither can be cut or pasted, and so I transcribed. No author is mentioned.

I hope your 97 year old wordsmith friend enjoys this!

The Age of Slang

It wasn't so when I was young — we used plainer language then;

We didn't speak of "them galoots," when meanin' boys or men.

When speaking of the nice hand-write Of Joe, or Tom, or Bill,

We did it plain — we didn't say, "He swings a nasty quill."

And when we saw a gal we liked, who never failed to please,

We called her pretty, neat, and good, but not "about the cheese."

Well, when we met a good old friend we hadn't lately seen,

We greeted him but didn't say, "Hello, you old sardine !"

The boys sometimes got mad and fit ; we spoke of kicks and blows ;

But now they "whack him in the snoot," and "paste him on the nose."

Once when a youth was turned away from her he loved most dear,

He walked off on his feet — but now he "crawls off on his ear."

We used to dance when I was young, we used to call it so,

But now they don't - they only "sling the light fantastic toe."

Of death we spoke in language plain, that no one will perplex ;

But in these days one doesn't die - he "passes in his checks."

We praised the man with common sense, his judgment's good, we said

But now they say, "Well, that old plum has got a level head."

It's rather sad the children now are learning all sich talk :

They've learned to "chin" instead of chat, and "waltz" instead of walk.

To little Harry yesterday — my grandchild, aged two—

I said, "You love grandpa?" Said he, "You bet your boots I do."

The children bowed to strangers once ; It is no longer so —

The little girls, as well as boys, now greet each other with "Hello !"

Oh, give me back the good old days, when both the old and young,

Conversed in plain, old-fashioned words, And slang was never slung.