In a recent Talk of the Nation episode, New York Times writer Natalie Angier was interviewed regarding the usage of the honorific 'Ma'am'. In her article the writer discussed her dissatisfaction with being called Ma'am. Her position is that the absence of the honorific would be preferable to the perceived connotations.
This being the perfect forum for discussing the usage, I am throwing it out and starting the ball rolling.
I use Ma'am. I think of it as a term of respect applicable for any adult female much as I would use Sir for any adult male. Much like the any other kind of manners, I think that this fits into the class of 'social lubrication' and works for any formal or semi formal occasion.
I know that there are regional differences, and also class differences for it's usage, however I think the loss of Ma'am has become a casualty of the over familiarization of our culture.
What are the thoughts?
What are the connotatons about which Natalie is concerned?
Seems to me the connotation she is concerned about is the fact that "ma'am" is a shortened version of "madam." This from the online dictionary:
madam [ˈmædəm]
n pl madams for sense 1, mesdames [ˈmeɪˌdæm]
1. a polite term of address for a woman, esp one considered to be of relatively high social status
2. a woman who runs a brothel
3. Brit informal a precocious or pompous little girl
4. South African informal the. the lady of the house
[from Old French ma dame my lady]
So if you take the #1 listed meaning, no worries. But it might be the #2 meaning that concerns her. I have no idea how often they update usage stats, and I wonder how it is ranked in other sources (which I do not have the time to check today).
The use of "sir" is much less an issue. And replacing "ma'am" with "m'lady" sounds downright archaic.
EmmettRedd said:
What are the connotatons about which Natalie is concerned?
The connotations she was concerned about seem to be the perception that 'Miss' if for a young girl, 'Ma'am' apparently carries the emotional baggage for an older woman.
It could be I'm too quick to assume, but I suspect the connotations she's perceiving are self-inflicted. I'm with Phil: I was brought up to use it as a term of respect.
By the way, no one ever told me that "Miss" is for young women and "Madam" for old; the way I see it, "Miss" is for unmarried women and "Madam" for married.