Hey, guys. Your discussion with the caller Kurt who called in with the "Strip my gears and call me shiftless!" things reminded me of one of the better ones I've seen.
Is anyone here familiar with SpongeBob Squarepants? One of the lesser-used characters (alas) is Sandy Cheeks, the squirrel from Texas who lives underwater. In one episode, she utters this gem:
"SpongeBob's actin' jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel! Wait, what?"
I love the fact that they make fun of the southern proclivity to use sayings like this and then turn it around and make fun of it again by calling attention to how silly it sounds. Even Sandy wasn't sure what she meant! 🙂
Some of Sandy's other funny sayings are as follows:
I'm hotter than a hickory smoked sausage!
You're about as ugly as homemade soup!
I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree!
That'd make me happier than a junebug at a porch light sale!
I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jack rabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August!
Re "discussant": This sounds like the role of a "rapporteur" in conferences I've been to here in France. Same thing?
Kaa,
Have you ever been more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs?
Emmett
Grant Barrett said:
For that matter, a caller asks, why do we call "heads up!" when a ball is coming towards us? Shouldn't it be "heads down"?
Speaking of expressions that make no sense, how about head over heels? It always turns up in contexts that suggest a reversal of the normal state of affairs: "When I heard I'd won the lottery, I was head over heels with excitement!" Don't know about the rest of you people, but standing or sitting, my head is above my heels. What would be worthy of remark would be having it the other way round.
People who said it when I was little always used to tell me to put on your shoes and socks before going outside. If I follow those instructions literally, I'm going to end up with the socks on the outside.
And how about all these songs that advise you to put your hands in the air, like you just don't care? Listen, if I don't care, chances are my hands are staying at my sides where they belong. I'm going to need some kind of compelling reason to put them in the air.