For quite some time, when someone on a scripted television show asks of another, "would you mind if…" The answer is inevitably in the affirmative, with the response "yea, sure." I've heard this countless times. If someone asks me if I would mind if….. my answer in the affirmative would be, "no, not at all." Does anyone else notice this? I'm thrilled to have found this forum. My fascination with words has been my nerdy little secret forever. While I'm at it, has "whom" become obsolete in scripted television? Thanks for any comments.
Not only have I noticed this but, shortly after reading your post, I caught myself saying it.
I think that, in most cases, where there is some time to think, I would say "Not at all." In this case, I would explain my words by saying that, in the rush of the situation, I was responding to the implicit, or anticipated, more direct question, rather than to the actual, more indirect question.
Glenn said:
…I was responding to the implicit, or anticipated, more direct question, rather than to the actual, more indirect question.
And that's it in a nutshell – people often respond to the implicit question. I think that I immediately translate "would you mind if…" to "May I?", and answer accordingly.
(In a similar vein, people would think you rude , a wiseass, or at best pedantic, if you answered "Do you know the time?" with a simple "Yes.")
God forbid I should ever find myself on the witness stand. In that context, if confronted with such a question, I most certainly would restrict my response to the precise question.
- Can you describe the events leading up to the accident?
- Yes.
But that would be due to the serious nature of the circumstance. In my transgression above, something obvious and unexpected happened that required another person's quick attention. They asked "I have to go. Do you mind?" My reply was, of course, "of course," rather than "nay" (or "neigh" to carry through the Mr. Ed reference).
"Be my guest" dodges the issue nicely.