Discussion Forum—A Way with Words, a fun radio show and podcast about language

I would suggest the prefix "vicari-" from the latin for "substitute" or "deputy." I know this from biogeography, where it is used to describe cases in which the species (or higher taxa) living in different areas are phylogenetic substitutes for one another. In terms of how to create a neologism here are some options:
1) "Vicarispouse" - but I don't like the mixing of the latin prefix with the English "Spouse." (Vucarihusband/vicariwife are even worse)
2) "Vicarisponsus" (M) "Vicarisponsa" (F) All latin - but hardly likely to catch on
3) "Vicariant" A valid English word already, but perhaps it could be adopted for this use?

Possible term for new spouse of your ex-spouse.

In the Theater an understudy is someone that is prepared to take over a role when the original actor can not appear for any reason. Thus the replacement spouse could be called an "underspouse" by analogy. It also gives a hint of high ground to the original spouse without being blatant. there are many movies based on intrigue between the original actor and the understudy, which again often would reflect reality.

I think it all boils down to our wanting to have quick, efficient ways in this language to refer to specific kinship titles, and there aren't always.

Understood. But I'm thinking that referring to this person as "my ex-husband's wife" or "my ex-wife's husband" is pretty efficient already, though I have no objection to a new title for this. Also, even with a new title, one would still need to say "my ex-husband's whatever," because I assume that this new word would refer to any new spouse who isn't the first. And what about widows and widowers? Would this new word refer to their new spouses? Or do we come up with THREE new titles for all these new spouses? And if you want even more complications, consider the problem with divorced and remarried gay couples! Come to think of it, I'm not at all sure how they refer to themselves. As spouses, or partners?

You mention Swedish. Chinese and Japanese also have more titles for relationships than English, including the order in which the kids are born!

There's also the family-relationship category of a term for a parent who's lost a child. “Bereaved” or “bereft” is as specific as I've heard, although as I'm told both Hebrew and Arabic have terms for this.

Do you mean that there is a word, similar in function to widow and widower, for parents who have lost a child? Ah, such a sad title for any parent! Of course we already have a word for a child who loses his parents - orphan - and another word (which I don't like at all) for a child whose parents are not married.

Regarding titles for the order of birth for kids, in China, for example, the oldest son and daughter are called Big Brother and Big Sister. The youngest son and daughter are called Little Brother and Little Sister. All the siblings in-between are numbered, as in Second Brother, Third Brother, Second Sister, Third Sister, etc. But with China's one child policy maybe all kids are now called Only Son and Only Daughter! 🙂

Umm, no - your husband's wife = you! Unless, of course, he's a polygamist.

I realize this is an old thread but I just heard the episode today (we seem to get things late here in TX )

I have to put my vote with noah. I still refer to my mother-in-law as my mother-in-law so I refer to my ex-wife's husband as my husband-in-law. I guess I could call him my ex-wife's husband #4 but that takes as long to explain as husband-in-law. You should hear what some of my friends call their ex's new spouse!

So far the general acceptance of husband-in-law is proving difficult.