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A Way with Words, a radio show and podcast about language and linguistics.

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The Secret Language of Families
Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
1
2008/01/19 - 9:22am

Does your family use a special word you've never heard anywhere else? A funny name for “the heel of a loaf of bread,” perhaps, or for “visiting relatives who won't leave.” In this week's episode, Martha and Grant discuss “family words,” and Martha reveals the story behind her own family's secret word, “fubby.”

Download or listen to the episode here.

Why do we say that someone who's pregnant is “knocked up”? The hit movie starring Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen has a caller wondering about this term.

A man whose last name is McCoy wants a definitive answer about the origin of the expression “the real McCoy.” He's been told it comes from the name of turn-of-the-century boxing champ Kid McCoy. Is that really the case? (Here's the Dictionary of Scots Language that we mention in the call.)

A Michigander wants to know about the difference between “titled” and “entitled.” She'd assumed that a book is “titled” Gone with The Wind and a person is “entitled” to compensation for something. Grant and Martha explain it's a little more complicated than that.

Quiz Guy Greg Pliska presents a quiz about “False Plurals,” based on the old riddle: What plural word becomes singular when you put the letter “s” at the end of it? (Hint: Think of a brand of tennis racket, as well as the former name of a musical artist before he changed it back again.)

Quick, which is faster? Something that happens “instantly” or that happens “instantaneously”? A caller wants to know if there's any difference between the two.

A Brazilian has been researching why actors use the unlikely expression “break a leg” to wish each other well before going on stage. He suspects it's a borrowing of a German phrase that means, “May you break your neck and your leg,” but he's not sure.

A caller who lived in the Bay Area during the 1960s remembers using the word “loosecap” to describe someone who's “not playing with a full deck.” He wonders if he and his friends are the only ones to use it, as in, “Don't be such a loosecap!”

This week's “Slang This!” contestant tries to decipher the slang phrases “dance at two weddings” and “put the big pot in the little pot.” She also shares her own favorite slang terms for “crumb crusher,” “rug rat” and “ankle biter.” By the way, you can Grant's essay about slang terms for small children, “Sprogs in a Poop Factory,” here. His column about language appears every two weeks in The Malaysia Star newspaper.

A caller fears that the term “Indian giver” is politically incorrect, and wants an alternative to teach her children.

A Princeton University student wonders if his school can lay claim to being the first to apply the Latin word “campus” to the grounds of an institution of higher learning.

By the way, if you want to read about more family words, check out Paul Dickson's book, Family Words: A Dictionary of the Secret Language of Families.

Here's hoping all of you are happy fubbies!

Aris Bartee
2
2008/01/21 - 6:56am

I am excited to find out that the term "Yard" was used before the term "Campus". When I went off to college I picked up the habit of referring to school/campus as the "The Yard". I have only known other black people at HBCUs or greeks and friends of greeks at non-HBCUs refer to a college or university as "The Yard".

MarcParis
3
2008/01/21 - 11:04am

My suggestion for "Indian giver".

On the model of "regifting" and "regifter": degifter (and degifting... which has no equivalent, so we are usefully expanding the lexicon of bad behavior).

--Marc Naimark

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
4
2008/01/21 - 2:17pm

Aris, I never heard of that distinction before. How interesting. Which HCBU did you attend?

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
5
2008/01/21 - 2:18pm

Marc, now you have me wondering about "disgifting." I kind of like that even better, since it's so close to "disgusting"!

Aris
6
2008/01/21 - 10:28pm

I didn't attend a HBCU but that's the only other place I heard it used. I attended school at Stephen F. Austin in Nacogdoches, TX.

martha said:

Aris, I never heard of that distinction before. How interesting. Which HCBU did you attend?


MarcParis
7
2008/01/23 - 3:49am

Martha,

Maybe "disgifting" is too strong. But there could also be "ungifting".

I'm still sticking with "degifting". And I thought about the noun "degift", and an expression, "the degift of love". That would be when your partner breaks up with you, saying s/he never loved you in the first place.

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
8
2008/01/23 - 3:00pm

Aris: Is that pronounced NACK-uh-dish? I spent a little time in Louisiana once and I thought that's the pronunciation I heard. Just wondered if it's different in TX.

Well, MarcParis, I don't know. To me "degift" makes me think the next word you're going to say is "gab." 🙂

dhenderson
Sunnyvale, CA
70 Posts
(Offline)
9
2008/01/23 - 4:35pm

martha said:

Aris: Is that pronounced NACK-uh-dish?


It's pronounced nack-uh-DOUGH-chuss. There's a great joke about the place. A couple is driving through Nacogdoches on a long car trip and they decide to stop for lunch. In the restaurant they ask the blonde behind the counter to slowly pronounce the name of the place they're in so they can understand it. She replies, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiiiing."

Dan

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

MarcParis
10
2008/01/24 - 2:25am

Well, MarcParis, I don't know. To me “degift” makes me think the next word you're going to say is “gab.”

Well, I imagine that in order to degift, you're gonna need de gab...

Guest
11
2008/01/24 - 7:32am

Couldn't help myself! Here are a few more "giver" alternatives:

- Boomerang giver
- Rebound giver
- Vacuum giver
- Anti-gravity giver
- Antimatter giver
- Mirror giver
- Bouncer (in the sense of "bounced" e-mail)
- Bouncebaby (ditto)

Stop me now! I could do this all day!

best,

Mark S.

Ian
12
2008/01/24 - 9:41am

Just a pronunciation FYI about the name Mackay: punk icon Ian Mackaye of Fugazi and Minor Threat pronounces his name mak-EYE with a long I for the last syllable. Assuming that's also the pronunciation of "Mackay" it's even less of a stretch to get to "McCoy."

disclaimer: I am not the same Ian 🙂

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
13
2008/01/24 - 12:09pm

Yes, the pronunciation of McCoy, Mackay, and Mackay are variable, which is why there's no real reason not to believe that Mackay could easily become McCoy. Those spellings are probably pronunciation-derived rather than the pronunciation deriving from the spelling.

Kelly
14
2008/01/24 - 6:05pm

The woman on this episode wanted an equivalent less offensive phrase than Indian Giver
Based on The Synonym Finder, I wonder if the following would work...

http://tinyurl.com/ywrlq8

Don't be a....

Welsher
back-pedaler
weasel
worm - from worm out of

Or perhaps the child could be called a...

Barmecide

http://www.physics.ohio-state.edu/~wilkins/writing/Resources/essays/superiorwords.html

Or perhaps ... Euro-giver

http://funnyguyontheprowl.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

Lastly, the politically correct....

Native American Conferrer

K

Rob
15
2008/01/25 - 9:57am

When I was growing up we had a family word that we said but never wrote, so I'm not sure how to spell it. I guess it would be "wee" or "wi". Pronounced like "we." It means, generally, "Get out of the way, I can't see the TV." My brother coined it before he could really talk, I think. When he wanted to see something like the TV, he would just go "Weeeeee!" in this whiny, demanding tone. Over time, it just became a word we used. Only in the very specific context of watching TV and needing someone to move. It was an imperative, a command of sorts. It wasn't until high school that I really realized that it wasn't a real word.

So, there you go.

mal
16
2008/01/27 - 1:38pm

Two 'family language' items to share - Rob's posting about "wee" as an imperative while watching TV reminded me of my first example.

When watching TV together my parents and siblings and I used the code "X.B." when we arose from a (usually prime) seating spot that we wanted to save after our return from the kitchen or bathroom. I believe my dad's siblings also used this code and I don't know that any of them know its origin. When standing up to temporarily leave the room, one simply said "X.B." and it was honored by all, without question. There were 8 of us in the house and with a small TV room it was a civilized, efficient, and effective way to prevent squabbles over couch spots versus the floor. We still find ourselves saying it at family gatherings though any would likely gladly share a favored seat without fighting over it now!

This is more a "secret language of couples" example than "families" - When our (now adult) son was first learning to talk he babbled his own phrases that to us seemed nonsense but clearly to him meant something. One phrase that we came to recognize had a kind of "call and response" cadence - "DITT-dough" . . . (pause) . . . "BREW-vah" - with him saying both parts. Over time his use of the phrase faded but my husband and I still find ourselves using that phrase as a sort of verbal "touching base" - if one says "dit-doh", the other responds "bru-vah". No further conversation is required.

This is fascinating! So glad this topic came up on the show, I'll look for Paul Dickson's book.

Guest
17
2008/01/29 - 12:08pm

My son's vocabulary always outstripped his diction in his early years. It was a great source of family slang.

My wife and I still refer to "noo-noos," his early pronounciation of "noodles."

For a long time, we used his pronounciation "fraction" as a code-word substitute for "distraction" (a favorite parenting tactic of ours).

Perhaps his greatest mis-proununciation, however, grew out of his early love for dump-trucks. The terminal 'p" on the end of dump was usually dropped and before he could say the "tr" he would substitute an "f." Imagine my chagrin when we walked out on our front porch and saw a neighbor getting into his pick-up (which was plenty close enough to a dump-truck for a two-year-old). Justin pointed and shouted -- with great emphasis and excitement -- "DUMP-TRUCK!!!" It took a bit of explaining to assure the neighbor that he was referring to the vehicle, not the driver (made more difficult by the fact that what actually came out of my boy's mouth was a fairly accurate assessment!). Anyway, we have continued to this day using the term "Dump-Truck" as an epithet for those who rate it.

Sam Watkins
18
2008/01/29 - 2:13pm

An alternative to using "Indian Giver"

How about the saying, "You can't give a dog a bone and expect to get it back." ?

Better yet, just refer to the guilty person as a "rescinderella"

Guest
19
2008/02/03 - 4:47am

"Lumpies"

Those are those little things you find in the toilet or diaper. When I was about 12, as I left the bathroom, my mother asked me I had a "BM." I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
20
2008/02/03 - 5:28am

She was asking about the British Museum, right?

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