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The Gallery of Regrettable Punctuation
Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
1
2007/11/21 - 3:44pm

I've always gotten a chuckle out of James Lileks' “Gallery of Regrettable Food.”I mean, you have to love the commentary on the abominations you'll find in things like the Cookin' with Dr. Pepper cookbook.

Inspired by this gallery, then, I hereby present The Official “A Way with Words” Gallery of Regrettable Punctuation, and invite you to add your own findings.

I'll start us off. So, I'm having a lovely time in New York City recently, and I'm looking for a place to have dinner near Times Square. I happen upon the Marriott Marquis, when what to my wondering eyes doth appear, but this appetite-killer . . . .

Guest
2
2007/11/21 - 9:39pm

Too easy, Martha. "It's" instead of "Its" is such a common mistake that it's/its almost accepted. Almost.

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
3
2007/11/22 - 10:09am

But windpig, back me up here! "It's" = "it is"! It's simply wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! When it comes to grammar, I'm not a knuckle-rapper, but this one doesn't say what the writer Thinks it says. Hmmmph!

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
4
2007/11/23 - 2:58pm
Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
5
2007/11/24 - 10:25am

Here's one from the bathroom door of a relative's house:

Joni
6
2007/11/25 - 1:56am

If that little restroom sign miffed you, Grant, you're likely to be even more vexed by this: the home of vagrant quotation marks

And Martha, for what it's worth, I'm 100% behind you on the "it's" v. "its" mistakes. They're downright irresponsible toward the reader!! A good friend of mine made an error like that in a piece of poetry that was published that way, and I remember asking her what it meant, (assuming, of course, she had taken creative license somehow), and she took offense at my pointing it out. Granted, we're fortunate most readers aren't robots and need precise input, but on the creative end, knowing the difference and utilizing it properly can empower so much difference in the way we communicate our thoughts in writing. My friend forgave me, but to this day I wonder about the impact the poem could make if it hadn't been crafted with distracting grammar.

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
7
2007/11/25 - 4:19am

Actually, Joni, I believe that quotation marks are acceptably used as a way to bring attention to words, either to disparage them, to call them into question, or to emphasize their importance. I call them "shout quotes." But it is sometimes funny for a moment to pretend to misunderstand. Maybe the plaque creator was saying that the "door" wasn't really a door.

Joni
8
2007/11/25 - 10:23am

I'd figure that to be true as well, but in this case, the door was in fact, a door, and so the sign was somewhat inappropriately placed in my perspective. If it had been placed on something thatweren't truly a door, but that served sometimes as a door, say a window that served as an escape route for a young child as he was looking to galavant about for the evening without their parents' knowledge, then the quotation marks would make sense to me in the way that you mention. I simply don't understand the often superfluous quotation marks that litter a lot of publications and signage. I know it's traditionally used for emphasis, but sometimes, as a reader, it's an emphasis that doesn't make sense to me.

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
9
2007/11/25 - 4:59pm

Well, put Joni. I'd say if any word on that plaque needed emphasis it'd be "this."

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
10
2007/11/26 - 10:12am

At least they didn't say: "This is the 'door' YOUR looking for"!

(I like the little yellow "Hurry" at the bottom, too.)

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
11
2007/11/26 - 10:13am

Joni -- oy, oy, oy about your friend's poem! Yeeks. (And thanks for the link to that quotation marks blog!)

Guest
12
2007/11/26 - 3:15pm

The one excuse for the image Grant posted I can think of is that the plaque itself is an image of a door, but not actually a door, so it's a "door". But that's stretching it and I doubt it's really what the creator meant.

And Martha, I think the it's/its mistake is getting universally accepted -- but that doesn't mean is isn't still eye-scratching ignoring.

I've never heard of "shout quotes" before, but I do have a number of friends that refer to "scare quotes", used to emphasize doubt or instill uncertainty in the listener: "My 'friend' here would like to say a few words..."

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
13
2007/11/26 - 4:50pm

Yeah, "shout quotes" is my coinage, meaning only those quotes used to emphasize what they contain, whereas "scare quotes" call what they contain into question.

Guest
14
2007/11/28 - 2:53pm

Of course "it's" and "its" are different.

BTW, there was an art supply house in town with its name on a large hand-painted sign outside, "Iv'e Been Framed!" I was never sure what they thought they were saying. After a couple of years, someone fixed it.

BJT
15
2007/12/05 - 9:25am

An inappropriate "it's" would turn my stomach, too.

Re the "door" quotes, there are soooooo many other ways to emphasize a word on a sign...font style, font size, font color, all caps...anything but vagrant quotation marks!

Monica Sandor
16
2007/12/06 - 2:14am

I thought it was just that people are not really looking for a door, they are looking for the little room behind the door, to which any number of euphemisms are generally given. In Europe, everyone laughs if I say "bathroom" as it seems to them ludicrous that a public convenience would be expected to have a bath. (another use of quotation marks, I guess, is what I just did, to highlight a word one wishes to comment on.)

Grant Barrett
San Diego, California
1532 Posts
(Offline)
17
2007/12/06 - 5:23am

That makes sense, Monica. If we don't want to say "bathroom" or "toilet" we might just say, "Which door is the...?" without ever saying what we're looking for and counting on our hosts to understand what we mean.

dhenderson
Sunnyvale, CA
70 Posts
(Offline)
18
2007/12/12 - 5:18pm

Three men die on Christmas Eve and show up at the Pearly Gates together. St. Peter tells them, "In honor of the season, I'll let each of you into Heaven if you can show me something that proves you have the spirit of Christmas."

The first guy frantically hunts through his pockets and comes up with a cigarette lighter. He lights it and says, "It's the Christmas star!" St. Peter tells him he can go in.

The second guy hunts through his pockets, brings out his car keys and jingles them. "Jingle Bells!" he says. St. Peter says, "You can go in."

The last guy frantically hunts through his pockets and brings out a pair of women's underwear. He says, "They're Carol's!"

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Martha Barnette
San Diego, CA
820 Posts
(Offline)
19
2007/12/13 - 7:54am

LOL. And nicely punctuated, dhenderson!

dhenderson
Sunnyvale, CA
70 Posts
(Offline)
20
2007/12/13 - 9:26am

Thanks for the compliment, but I did violate the rule you expressed on the show about keeping exclamation points outside quotes. My view has always been that if the quoted words are a complete exclamation or question, the exclamation point or question mark belongs with them, inside the quotation marks. I'm with you on periods and commas going inside the quotes except in technical communications, e.g. computer manuals where you're putting in quotes the text string a user must type. In that instance, I think the quoted string should include only the characters to be typed on the keyboard.

I just thought of a new Zen koan: Should punctuation marks be inside or outside when you're using "air quotes"?

Dan

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

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